In 38 minutes, it will be 12. 0000. 010109. A new year.

I believe now is the time to contemplate on the implications of this year before I proceed on with the next. 2008 had been, conflicted. For me, it has been a year of much conflict, of much arguments and distress. Never have I seen so many group of friends break apart so quickly, without a hope of reconcilation. Even I am involved in some of them, rather deeply in one, personally in many, and just on the surface for most. However, once the dust had settled and the air cleared, I realize that this year had been a year where I have changed, for the better. Many lessons were taught, not by people but by experiences, my vision, cleared. Only through enduring challenges can we aspire to achieve higher. Hurdles eh? I remember a speech by a person. In every single moment of life, you are always given a choice. To some, it may not be obvious, but it is A fact that you have a choice, to view a certain matter in a different manner and such. And it is through these choices that define you as a person. Its time to make choice, yea?

... . . . .... . . ... ... . .. . .. ... ... . . .. . .. .. ... .. . .... .. . .

NOW, lets get on with th "2008 Meme", which is just the first sentence of a post of every month.

Okay no, I'd rather insert excerps, they make more sense.

JANUARY : " So, I shall end it with a note in mind, its th journey that matters, not th destination. Peace to all, and may you find peace."

FEBRUARY : " A war is raging, a mistake, not a, but rather a few. Relatives die, brothers and sisters lost, their strand of life cut, homes lost, people stricken with grief and sorrow. Man, we should really be grateful for what we have here in Singapore, though sometimes it may seem that life is against us, we should really think back, is it?"

MARCH : " I believe that I am a jumble of contradictions living harmoniously in one entity."

APRIL : " I've been reading some weird books that tell me about out-of-this-world stuff that makes me twitch."

MAY : " a Third of the race runthe mid year examinations are coming to an end very soon, with just 3 papers to go. Through the turmoil and stress we endured during this vital period of the year, we may learn from our mistakes or remain ignorant of the challenges that stand anew, awaiting us. Weaknesses and strengths of each and every individual are revealed as time pass by us in a blink. The time has arrived for us to make a decision, to be or not to be, to go through all the hardships that WILL come and with an end in mind, or to procrastinate and let life lead us. Though it may seem as a big burden, an overwhelming responsibilty, bit by bit it can be achieved. good things come to those who work for it. ---- It is a scientific fact that Ahmed Khalil Khan's brain is not very efficient in absorbing scientific, mathematical or linguistic facts when his primary organ for digestion, the stomach is lacking in edible biological substances called food. Thank God that his brain has a very high efficiency rate to begin with :D"

JUNE : " A promise, a responsibility, I can't find the correct word to define the actual meaning of amanah which roughly means to keep one's word and such. It's a heavy burden to carry, the heaviest it seems, to completely follow your word, the temptation to break it is so strong, but as many have said, the greatest battle is not fought with others but rather within us. To fight our own demons and overcome it."

JULY : " At this stepping stone in life, where life is seen as negatives in the eyes of one, I've decided that it is not me, hence I have chosen to step away, to open my eyes to the truth."

AUGUST : " "Only through serious inquiry, positive questioning, can one aspire enlightenment.""

SEPTEMBER : " Obliteration of bonds that used to be so strong, just because of a minor incident. Feelings of hate and frustration seem to have an iron grip on the actions of some people, and yet, they do not realize."

OCTOBER : " On the day that we graduated, I realized how time had passed by so fast, feels like it was just yesterday when we came into the school. The years go by, we grow up, experience the rollercoaster ride we call puberty. Make friends, strengthen bonds, break them and cement them in our memory. Sometimes we take for granted the times we have with them, you know? You only miss the things you care for once they're gone, gayy."

NOVEMBER : " IT IS TRUE, what they say about O levels passing by so fast."

DECEMBER :

Well, thats it people. ENJOY YOUR NEW YEAR (:

Its seems that my blog had stalled, well, its just a temporary thing.
Well, don't worry! Now I'm back from Indonesia! Was there last weekend and I have to say that taking some time off to a place where chaos is absent is, refreshing.

The People (From the Left) : My Maid's sister, Kak Abbot's husband, Kak Abbot, Bik Ros, My Mom, My Maid, Bik Nur, My sister, A Friend, Me and My Brother! The only people missing here are the children, who are Mona, Barat, Noi, Indah and Dewi. Hahaha

We took a one hour ferry ride to Sekupang, then headed off to Belakang Padang on a speed boat, which was cool. Belakang Padang, literally, it means Behind the Field, weird eh? Haha. First thing my brother said when we arrived was "LEE!" while mine where "Daaaamn" hahaha. Heres a picture of the place called Belakang Padang, oh, and have I told you that it's beside the sea? So yea, its damn nice.

You can't really take in the atmosphere through pictures, but you get what I mean. Then we just relaxed at Bik Nur's house, which is HUGE, compared to houses here, for the whole afternoon? We decided to go shopping at night, and man, EVERYTHING is Cheap with a capital C. Okay we didn't really go shopping as in to buy shoes and clothes, the first trip was to get the food and stuff. That day was the day why I got darker, SERIOUSLY. Damn, it was so bloody hot, spotlights on full power. Sheesh, haha. Theres another reason, but thats for later. I had my first try at riding a bike that day. It was, exciting? Such a short moment and I almost crashed! Nevermind, I can always try some more, in the future. Later that night we went to the beach, just to see, and I realized that was like the meeting place for all the teens and kids there, practically all of them met there, to slack around and enjoy the sea breeze. It was kinda packed so we decided to go to the house of one of the locals there, which was at the top of a hill overlooking the whole of Belakang Padang. Such a specatacular view! You could see the sea, the village and even Singapore from there! Apparently Singapore's so bright it caused one side of the night sky to be like orange-purple while the other side was deep purple. We spent about an hour there before going home. The sky was glittered with countless of stars, beautiful. When you're there, you realize that only one side of the street is alight. This is because the generators can only provide enough electricity for one side at a time, and our side didn't have electricity for that night. It was okay, other than the fan not being able to function, hence keeping me up till 7, but it was understandable, haha.

The next morning, once again we go shopping, and this time we really shopped for clothes and slippers and stuff, yea. Rather tiring cause we spent the whole morning till around noon shopping! Once home, we rested abit while my brother went crazy riding the bike. He brought me adventuring the area and we stumbled upon this spot where you could see the sunset really clearly, with a backdrop of islands and houses on the water. The day before he took a picture, here it is.
Beautiful isn't it?

After resting and having lunch, we took off to a beach called Pasir Putih, meaning White Sand. Had a few coconuts before jumping off into the sea. Such a wonderful feeling, haha. Swam around for awhile before realizing that all the little children were staring at me. HAHA! So decided to mingle around with them which ended up with me carrying them up and throwing back in, which they crazed for haha! Innocent and pure fun.

FUN RIGHT?! Haha while it lasted. After which, we departed and said our goodbyes to the land where the thousands rule, in currency that is.

On the way home, I realized that I love the sea, though I may not be able to swim in it well. I love how the wave appears, the mist as it clashes, the white froth that trails behind. When the thunderous waves created by the ferry as it slices the sea clashes, it appears as if there were souls in the sea, grabbing out, trying to hold on to something. The Mystic Sea.

AND THAT is my maid, whos been with my family since I was born, well except for a few lapses here and there, count them and there should be at least of 13 years of service to my family and I. Damn. I have to say, she has earned my utmost respect.
Especially for tolerating all the nonsense that my siblings and I bring wherever we go haha. She works countless hours, always in one building, with no assistants (okay maybe sometimes) and not seeing her family for such a long time. Can you imagine?!

Currently she's in Indonesia, visiting her family and to attend her sister's daughter's wedding, which I would too! So, now my house which has rarely seen a day without her, is MAID-LESS, haha! Though it's only been 2 days since she went, I can already see the house slowly changing. Its no longer speckless or perfectly in order, but you'd expect that. We shall go on for two weeks, we can take this, haha.

I wish I could filter my presence from people, like can appear offline to some, and online to others. Ignore that.

Listen to Call On Me by Eric Prydz, quite catchy, to me that is.

I remember an old dude quoting another old dude about how the worst sickness that a person could have is the fear of death. The Fear of Death. Its a human feeling, to fear death. He commands and it claims what is his, without a blink. And the fact that we wouldn't know what would happen next, or do we? Death signifies the end of life. Thats that. I think people fear death cause they love life too much, yea? The idea of it ending just stings some people I guess. I think it all depends on how life was for you. If it was good and luxurious, yea I believe the person wouldn't want to die. But if we examine the quote properly, you wonder why its a sickness. Then, to love life excessively would be a sickness to would it? I heard a poem, saying that we live to live then and that we die to live then. That death is not the end, but rather the beginning. This poem triggered this post. I apologize for the religious-ish-ness of this post, but yea, eventually, thats all that matters mm? When I think about life, I think about Death cause Death is the Beginning of Life.
I wish to break free from the chains that bind Man to this world that is dying.

Initially I already had in mind what I wanted to blog about, well the draft that is, but now, I have forgotten most of it, so im gonna try to remember it all, hmm

... . . .. . . . . . .. .. . . . . ... . ... . .. .. .... .. . ..

It started off as a murmur, everyone reciting different things at different times,
then, slowly, the pace started picking up, and soon, you can hear that everyone is synchronized. It keeps getting louder and faster, voices of men bouncing off the walls of the narrow house. Suddenly you feel as if youre not anywhere you think you are, as if the atmosphere had changed within a few seconds. Really a strange feeling if you ask me, and if you consider the voices of many men chanting praises simultaneously with such fanatism, you'd have a chill running down your spine everytime you think about it. Then as sudden as it had changed, it would revert back to the ordinary. The best part is that within minutes, food would be served and Life as we know it, would carry on. All this while, you feel as if time had stopped just for this out of this world occasion. Weird yea? Hahaha, thats why I always say I'm going to another dimension. Since most of the conversations I heard or were involved in were not meant for peoples ears, I guess the part about my vacation ends here gay

On another note, I second my brothers opinion that the world is slowly turning into shit. HAHAHAHAHAA, sorry about that. I mean, really, if you look around, you do see things that you know deep in your heart, isn't right, yet its happening right before your eyes and the best thing is, no ones doing anything about it! I do not feel of this generation. Well, THATS LIFE. Mmm, Im starting to talk to myself, this is bad.

I think I'm going to start my drawing spree very soon, got stuffs to complete, so should you want anything to be drawn, okayokay-ishly, just ask and i'll try, I repeat, TRY.

Theres a doubt in my mind, that I won't do well for my Os, and its really hard to quelch it. Its been tugging my head for quite some time, and though I hope its not true, it just gets scarier when I think about it. Ahh, but what to do, whats done is done, so lets just wait and see, one of the best things I can do. Insyallah we all do well, yea? Except for the minority who didn't sit for it ah, walao.. GoodBye!

My brother was infront of me, on the phone, Bioinformatics in hand x)
At Macs, i seem to get most of my inspiration, strangely HAHA.
So yea, i couldnt believe how fast it was completed seh
MEHH nonetheless, just a rough drawing, i shall finish it up properly, on plain WHITE paper, not foolscap haha x)

Just a short post, it has ended i think. Wait, no it hasn't

. . . .. ... . . .. . . . ... . .. .... .. . . .. . . . ...

TOMORROW BLOOD SHALL BE SPILT
lambs blood that is, haha
i remember writing a poem in sec 2 about this, but ive forgotten it lol
HAII then ill be leaving for 3 days to another dimension, like on th day itself x)
it will be a solo mission, considering that my brother wouldnt be there, so i hope it'd be interesting seh, thats for sure.
i hear african music x)

NAMASTE. :D

It was a humid night yesterday, my skin felt sticky, uncomfortable, hence I resorted to drawing and talking till I became too tired. Hahaha

The camera sucks so yea. IF only I had a scanner, ah how easy this would be x)




If isn't clear to you, well, its a fist clenched, catching a ribbon. I don't know why I suddenly drew this, hmm.

.. . . . .. ... ... . .. . . . .. ... . .... ... .. .. ..

I need to find a job, to fill up my days, and my wallet? Haha
Really seh, you can't 'enjoy' 'life' without money these days, everywhere you go, you have to spend some here and there, even if you don't intend to! Its just part of life eh?

Just completed something, felt really good, though it was quite tiring. Felt as if I had achieved something, not for myself, but for someone who is incapable of doing anything else on this Earth. Woo :D

Im Hungry. as always

bored.

I realize that I have this inside me for a long long time, I think its time I let it out

I dont think its right, for you to be looking down on my brother and me, i dont think its right that you condemn my brother just because his Os wasn't what you expected, i dont think its right for you to bring your anger from work back, i dont think its right for you to constantly discourage us, i dont think its right for you to treat me like im a soldier, i dont think its right that you always put the blame on mummy for us being so, i dont think its right for you to be insensitive in your words, i dont think its right that you think you're always right, i dont think its right that you always throw your anger around, i dont think its right that you dont utter a word of support or congratulations to us, i dont think its right for you to believe that we are bad, i dont think its right for you to think that all my words are lies, i dont think its right for you to say that your words are commands for me to follow, i dont think its right for you to raise your voice to mummy, i dont think its right for you to be not understanding at all, i dont think its right that you treat us badly, i dont think its right that you hurt ziqah, i dont think its right that everything is about pride, i dont think its right for you to think that your methods are okay, i dont think its right for you to make mummy cry, i dont think its right for you to let mummy feel so helpless as she watch, i dont think its right for you to make ziqah bear all your hopes, i dont think its right that you always not fail to hurt us with your words, i dont think its right that youre still like this despite their teachings, i dont think its right that you always assume the worst in us, i dont think its right for you to make bai feel looked down upon in front of dadi and pu jan, i dont think its right that you always leave an air of anger and tension whenever you reprimand us, i dont think its right that the house always feels alien and hostile when you're home, i dont think its right that you think mummy is at fault. i dont think its right, but do you ever care what we think? lol.

----------------------------------------

Sucking grape-flavoured Mentos makes you thirsty. IT DOES!

This post is dedicated to the group of close friends I have over at Temasek Secondary, for they have held a surprise party for me last last week.( sorry ah, the pictures took a long time seh! )

The day began with my brother asking me to meet him at his school later on, saying "oh, suhaila wants to meet you ah, she ader hal (got something up)" So i went along, since I've not met Su for such a long time, then we went to Simpang to go meet her. As i walked to Simpang, I saw the mats, Jo, Azhar, Ali across the road, "Wah! coincidence!" lol. Walking unsuspectingly, suddenly I saw muhammad, siti, shaz, jane, sadiq, yanen and ahmed seated with Su. Then the balloons and the cake. HAHAHA! At that moment, i was going like "OMG OMG OMG SIA YOU GUYS OHMYGOOOODDD!!!" Yea, for that moment, that was all i could say, especially since they were singing a birthday song haha. Man, at that moment, i was utterly speechless, too happy to say anything, other than OMG. haha x)

To THEM, i would like to say a hearty THANK YOU, for your gifts and time spent to make that day a day for me, and most importantly, for your love and care. Thanks man.
I would never forget that day, nor would i forget them. heh (:

Here are the pictures










Funny funny people, 18nd November. :D

I got sick of bombing bases and firing missiles, so here I am, haha
Its very warm.

Watched the movie Mirrors just now, rather terrifying, if you tell me.
I like the way the producer explores the human fear of not knowing what we cannot see. If you turn away while facing the mirror, you never know how your reflection is.
It may still be looking at you, staring, just as in the movie, or not. Haha, I guess humans do fear what we don't know, eh? Don't we all, sometimes? I especially find it scary for other reasons. Personally, I don't like the mirror. Childhood thing that scares me, but I think I've overcome it. Woo. To think that my house is full of mirrors, how ironic.

..... . .. . .. . ... .... .... .... .. . .. . . ..

My journeys to another dimension have been fruitful, and has taught me much.
Lessons of life and facts of the universe, some Milo ice ( YES IT EXISTS THERE ) and food, and all is good. Oh and the wonderful furry creatures too. Haha

The Bad Only Disturbs The Good

HI.

Okayokay, i disappeared for two days to chill at another dimension.
but I'm back, with cameras full of pictures! So here goes.
First and foremost, the long awaited graduation night, that sounds gay, make it grad nite. HAHA!

Summary of events:
THE LIMO RIDE (this is like OMG.) - pictures of arrival - dinner - chao. HAHA quite short, but very memorable :)
















































THE END. :D