The grains of sand trickle by,
never pausing for a moment.
A steady stream, flowing past the fingers of Men,
of whom only few manage to capture and be immortalized through Time.

Leaves turn brown as the End draws near,
names inscribed upon the veins,
life seeps, and Death creeps,
they fall and the soul feels it,
alas the End draws near for them.

The pen has been set aside, and the ink has dried. The Book that is Fate is completed.

Youth

I realized why I have such a low tolerance for bullshit/when someone says something wrong.

Sure, it may be because I am a man of facts, but I think on a more basic level, its simply because when I was younger and behaved like so, I was always either reprimanded, shot-down, humiliated or corrected. I must admit, it is a vicious cycle and I am a vengeful - or fair (depends how you see it) person.

And thus began a slow conditioning to behave as such when I come across such behaviour, and now, here we are, me - now.

No, it does not necessarily do with me being a scholar, or officer, or the younger brother, or being smart-alecky or whatever nonsense that one may think of when thinking superficially, its as simple as saying the truth. But surprisingly, disappointingly I might add, there seem to be a problem in accepting truth when it gets in the way of the Ego.

Sigh.

Ego, you are an ugly beast in the form of Man, infecting their hearts, hardening it and twisting their words. You are hard to swallow and even harder to spit out. Ego, I will tame you and make you be silent.
In time, you will have no power over Me.

... . .. .. ... .. ... .. . . .. .... . .. ... ... .. .. .. .. . ... .. .. .. .. ... .. ... ... .. ... . .. . .. ..

Despite that; I am aware I adopt a sharp tongue, aggressive tone and non-compliance to listen. I need to work on that.

Declaration of Nothingness

Declare, declare where you stand.
Declare, declare that you are helpless, and in need of help.
Declare, declare that you have nothing.

and ask.

That is what I hope to mean every time I prostrate myself to You.

I am but a flawed human being, I am so full of mistakes, of bad habits, of vices and evil things that reside in my heart. I admit.

I only wish that I can be better, how much better I do not, and can not know, for that very knowledge limits my potential to improve.

I want to be right. That is all.

Please show me the Way

Forgive Me.

"Remind them, for you are only a reminder."

In my essay for my UK application, I highlighted how I am inspired and in awe of Nature, its perfection in structure, beauty and form and stated that to learn from Nature, is to learn the ways of the Creator.

The transformation of a caterpillar to a butterfly, a wonderful transformation from something strange looking to something beautiful. Miracles take time to happen, and sometimes the process may seem long and painful. We rarely understand process fully that it comforts us, but we must have faith that all we face in Life, the trials and tribulations, are good for us.

The way to the purification of the Heart is first achieved by curbing the soul (Nafs) from its excessive desires (Hunger and Appetence).

How?

Hunger

1. Hunger purifies the Heart, it sharpens and illuminates one's insights.
2. The weakness that hunger brings softens the Heart and makes it more susceptible to Allah and to remember Him.
3. Our dependence and need for sustenance puts us in our place and demolishes our pride and ego by reminding us of our mortality and need for something apart from ourselves.
4. When sated, we forget Allah, His Trials and Torments and are more likely to sin.
5. The denial of our Nafs increase our control over it.
6. Hunger brings repulsion to sleep and allows us to remain awake longer.
7. Hunger allows for lengthy acts of worship to be carried out with greater ease.
8. Hunger has its own bodily health benefits.
9. By not eating, we reduce our expenditure.
10. Reminds us of the misfortune of others and makes us more empathetic to their needs.

"The non-believer eats with seven intestines (Nafs?), while the believer eats with one."

Also, overeating impairs the consciousness of Allah and His Provision, our gratitude, humility and fortitude.

Trying, but it seems worth it, doesn't it?

Night Vigil

1. "Spread peace, feed the needy, perform the Night Vigils and you will enter Paradise with ease." Its the little things that count.
2. Qiyam Al-Layl refers to the prayer done in the last third of the night, when the rest of Mankind is sleeping. This is when you are closest and most intimate with Allah, for nothing else distracts you. It is the time when Allah grants us our doas.
3. Qiyam Al-Layl brings us close to our Lord, atones for our sins, drive disease from our body and puts a stop to transgression.
4. "Because they (those that perform the night vigil and charity) commune with the Most Merciful and He clothes them in light with His Light.

The night vigil is difficult to perform as it requires one to wake from sleep in the wee hours of the morning. First, have the right intention. Second, go to bed early and do not overeat. Third, repent always and last, be consistent.

Silence

In silence, we can hear more.

"Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, speak good or be silent."

1. Even if there is a glimmer of doubt that your words will harm others, it is better to remain silent.
2. It is part of faith to speak Truth and that brings benefit to others.
3. Good speech is the foundation of good deeds that lead to Paradise.

Avoid backbiting; to mention that about your brother that which he hates. If it is true, it is backbiting. If it is false, it is slander. So... Its better to simply speak good or to remain silent.

How?

First, remember the benefit of keeping silent.
Second, fear the punishment of speaking bad.
Third, busy your tongues with Zikr and Qur'an.
Fourth, discipline yourself.
Last, apply the 3 second rule before speaking.

When reflecting on the Beauty and Nature of the Universe, remember Him.

"O our Lord, glory be to Thee and protect us from the fires of Hell."

Have good companions, be a good companion. You are more likely to follow the faith of your friends. Do not let the displeasure and discouraging words of people stop you from pursuing your Lord.