People are like bottles
You can see them, for what they are
sometimes their colours and even the texture of the liquid they hold within.

However, if you never open the bottle cap,
you'll never find out the taste of them, of how they truly are.
No matter how much you think you know how it is, its never truly assured, until you do so.

Only until the first drop,
only then can you understand and comprehend,
what they hold within themselves, only to those who are willing enough to open them up.

Today had been a rather long day, and the end has yet to come.
Today was the end of the three day chalet at Sentosa that we, TJCCC had, which left me with funny moments, a very hungry stomach and unforgettable memories.
Today, my uncles and aunts came back from their pilgrimage to the holy land of Mekkah, which is extremely significant as it is their first time and I am truly joyful for them.
Today, my cousins, some friends and I caught Avatar, which was probably the highlight of the day.

Caught Avatar in 3D.

It is TRULY, a feast for the eyes. I may be exxagerating as it was my first time, but I have never been so excited to watch a movie, ever. Apart from that, the level of anticipation was quite high as the movie had had some good reviews regarding the stunning level of detail and realism in the movie world. True to every word, it was spectacular. Well, considering $700m was spent to make that movie, I'm not surprised. It raises the bar for the movie experience. It got me completely immersed into the fantasy world brought about by the director, whose name I do not remember. Apparently, the dude had done his research in order to make the world of Pandora ( the alien planet ) as realistic as possible with regards to the biological structure of the organisms depicted. That, coupled with stunning graphics, makes the movie captivating, leaving me in awe.

Despite the alieness of it all, the movie actually portrays more humanity than meets the eye.
It shows the unlimited and unsatisfiable human desire to have MORE, to drain every drop of resource and look for others elsewhere. The movie brings across the message of how far some people will go to get wealthier, and the adverse effects it causes, directly or indirectly. There are many branches of life that can be explored here. How one's actions can cause ripples and unforeseen consequences, or how without self-control, one will end up destroying one's self. Also, to how greed CAN be the cause of all evil. On the other hand, the movie also explores the more positive side of humanity, which is to defend what is yours and what your treasure, the power of unity and perseverance through tumultuous times and of course the choice over matters of the heart, and matters of the mind.

However, in my opinion, an angle which was explored rather explicitly is the discovery of one's identity. As we mingle around with different crowds, we sometimes find ourselves fitting different images to our character, and thus letting people have different expectation of us, different set of responsibilities and different choices to make. It is easy to get lost in the storm of society and forget who you are and what you believe in, especially in such a modern and metropolitan world such as Singapore. People show different sides at different times, and if you're a friend who has seen many or almost all the sides of a friend and still be able to accept them as who they are, give yourself a pat on the back. Sometimes, when friends think friends have changed, its just a matter of environment and adaptation, unless that friends really screwed up yea?

Oh yea, Merry X'Mas to the many who celebrate it, HOHOHO!

Its been awhile since Ive felt detached from the world, and finally I did.
In an unfamiliar environment, no one I knew, no one who knew me. No one to talk to, just silence.
Its moments like these that bring about much contemplation, and often, escape from the bustle of Life.
Its just you, thoughts floating by, with the absence of interference, beautiful.

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Wow, yesterday, could be described as a feast, truly.
The amount of food I ate yesterday was astounding, by my standards.
In chronological order,

A bowl of cereal with milk and a cup of milo
2 soft boiled eggs and a cup of milo
A chocolate pancake
A plate of rice with curry chicken, fried eggs and potatoes
A plate of bryani rice with chicken, mutton and potatoes
A large double chocolate frappe
A chocolate cake
A bowl of Kway Teow

and the best part,
and the end of the day, as I was about to sleep, close to 1,
I was hungry.

Some people at some point of time, have told me that I'm too nice, that sometimes, I let people get the better of me, and let them manipulate me, or just that I tolerate bullshit that I don't deserve. My response was a simple, "HUH, where got?!" or "When siaaa?". I've pondered on this notion for quite some time now, wondering. I guess, it is not within me to hurt people, emotionally that is, haha. I doubt I can muster the strength to break another's heart. However, this does not mean that I cannot tell them the painful truth if it need be. Despite the irritant that I may be, it would never be my intention to dampen their hearts or cause sorrow to seep into their hearts. I merely am like that, so that those who are blue, may forget their sadness and replace that with annoyance. I would rather be the one who gets broken-hearted than to break a heart, and I have. Sometimes I wonder why. It must be the fact that I know that I can and will heal from it, no matter how deep the pain is. And with this knowledge, I often take the blow, for I would never want to imagine another to endure such pain. Don't know why this came to me while I was showering though. Hahahaa

Hi.
I like to make people Happy.
So I do.

And today, I made a friend of mine, very happy by doing something that will make HIS friend happy.

A Rose.

Chilled with him for close to four hours, just sitting there, talking, drawing.

I find it more enjoyable to just have a chat sometimes yknow, get to know people better.

Its a rewarding feel at th end of it all, something gained.

Enjoying Trance

THE wall.

Its funny how a simple image, sound or word can bring about memories that have long been buried.
Not out of fear do I cringe, or tense up, but only because of the memories which I have kept deep inside.
I am, a man of memories.

A dark phase in one's past, may be the spark required to enlighten one's future.
That I have learnt, and cruelly I may add.
It is simply a law of the universe that you cannot gain something, without losing something else in return.
A simple law that more often than not, is overlooked and misunderstood, always forgotten and ignored.

When overlooked, it breeds greed. To have more, without giving any away. Such is the nature of Man.
When misunderstood, it invites conflict. To not understand, and simply accept, brings much infuriation within.
When forgotten, it sparks anger. The obsession, to find a reason for loss, when you do not see the gain.
When ignored, it ends bluntly.

The Past holds sway the way I lead the Present that I may have a Pleasant Future.

I will you Open like a piece of FRUIITTT!

By far, th highlight of th holidays, TJCCC's climbing trip to Batu Caves, KL.
Extraordinary experience, awesome people, eye-opening views.
It was really, like a dream, as if it was only us climbers, and th climbs.
As expected, such a trip provides a platform where th teachers, Mr Kao and Ms Lim, and of course our dearest coaches, Phillip and Kelly Lim, are on th same level as us, in terms of interaction and closeness.
Th stupid things that happened, it all made us closer and it really gives me a warm feeling, to see how we are like one huge family, whoosh.

And the climbs, OH THE CLIMBS.
Sure it looks scary at first, but damn, it is truly love at first climb. It was a totally different feeling, in terms of exhiliration, fear, composure and satisfaction. The freedom of exploring as we climb, its like we are a ship in th middle of th sea, where our direction is both determined by the external factors as well as our ability to direct our own movements. It was especially significant for th really high climbs, the really beautiful high climbs. It is like an assault on the senses, the sharp and rough rocks, sometimes cutting your fingers, and mind you they do, and sheer height and the fear that comes along with it, the composure that we must muster within us to conquer the climb, and of course the view. Spectacular. It was to the extent that every time I came down from one of the high climbs, I seem to be a semi-high state, where my minds in a daze and my breathing deep and slow. To conclude this unachieveable form of description that I had intended, I shall use a metaphor. Climbing beautiful ( which sometimes means truly hard but is just, beautiful, yknow? ) natural routes, is like having sex on ecstacy, you'll never reach that peak again unless you do that same thing again. Oh, in case you were wondering, a drunk guy from US East told me that, he advised not to commit th same mistake as he did, HAHA.

All in all, it was truly a wonderful experience, and I would love to thank my fellow climbers, TJCCC, our teachers in charge and our dear coaches. AWESOMMMEEEE.

Checking In

The Bustle of KL

Our form of transport, apart from the taxis. Inefficient, haha

Nyamuk! Our first Destination.

A short trek through th wilderness

One of the 30m routes there, Diper Jaya.

Second Destination! Nanyang. This is closer to civilization.

Nothing life freshly cooked fried rice

Old Shoes Beware. Its just a slab of smooth rock. End of Story

Last Destination : Damai! Its a tourist destination

Some of us in the cave, Really BIG cave.

Lonely Black Boy

The view

First Night There, couldn't wait to get into my room, HAHA

TJCCC is defined by its eccentricity and energy, as shown above.

Formal.

The Last Picture of the Trip. Was at Camp5.

Ze coaches!

Plastic but still as great, haha

Can't wait for the next!

Naise

It's such a pity that some people can see others beyond what they see in real life, such a shame.

00:00
The clock struck twelve and a hand drew out.
A solemn congratulations followed by wishes for the other world.
Streams of texts came flowing in, all with a similar tag to them.
Moments later the door opened to a familiar face.
Family is first, they are my brother and sister.
Cooking together and eating from the same bowl,
sharing moments only we can experience and know.
Ahmed Haliim Khan and Nur Hadziqah.

Training took up the morning,
with them who serve as the greatest anchors to school.
with them who are the closest bunch in school.
with them who are kind of character and generous with it.
The hours left of th day invested in time outside.
Orchard with three, best place to get high, or seen as strange. Haha!
Plaza Singapura with many, a simple dinner with plenty of flashes and surprises. ( BKB! )
Just hung out, somewhere to chill and let time fly by.
TJCCC.

The Last Hour, with Geng APAM and known associates.
Chocolate makes anyone happy, any time any where.
Double Chocolate Frappucinno, naise.

Thank You ALL that have made the 14th of November 2009 a special day for me.
Mooo.

It was 2am, just got home from watching a movie with a wonderful group of people.
This is it. Interesting show, gives me th shivers, he's such a genius, daamn.
PW is FINALLY over, for all eternity. Today was OP, considerably well, could've been better, but why ponder about that which has passed yes. Woke up late, what a start. Haha!

I am ze tired

I don't know why, but these past few days I've been really tired.
No matter how much I sleep, I will still be sleepy and tired the next day.
Its not that I sleep too much, I sleep less than enough. But I try to sleep more than usual, but still I appear sleepy by midday.This is really not normal and annoys me. My eyelids are heavy and my head has a stronger gravitational pull than usual. Also, it is not that I'm stressed or anything, in fact, its the opposite! Life is slowing down a bit and theres more time for me to just chill. Such a conundrum, wonder why.

Imagine a glass flask, with bubbling acid contents
at its mouth, an iron cap, secured by an iron lock
with a fragile and thin metal key locking it in place.
Seething, almost reaching th top, an acrid stench.

I can associate that to anger, my brother's and mine.
We keep it in check, we keep it in, but once it spills over,

nasty nasty.

The sun was still up when I got home, been a while since that happened.

The end is near my friends, the End.

Intepret as you wish.

Its always like this, I always have something in my mind, and I wish to blog about it.

But the moment I am here, it dissipates into thin air. I would have a draft ready in my head, every word and every line, prepared, but it just disappears. How unfortunate. These past few days, many things have occupied my mind, in fact over this long period that I was absent, my head was full of things. Then again, its not good to think so much, sometimes we must let our instincts guide us, let the feeling take control. Though, do not mistake this feeling I speak of as emotion, for emotion is an unstable concoction for the mind. Sometimes, we have to listen to our hearts, silent the mind, and do. A sage once advised, act with your heart, do not let your mind interfere. Our mind, brilliant but distracting. Limitless but restricted. We fear what we don't know. Thats why this all breaks down.

We humans, being of flaws,

Made in perfection, we are marred by our nature.

Such is the way we are.

Do forgive me

The Journey to become a Titan.

In the beginning, we were like little children. Not knowing what to expect, not knowing what to do.

We entered, only knowing that what we have to achieve. Among us, we meet new friends, or forge stronger bonds with those we already know. Like infants discovering a new world, we learnt by observing. With guidance from those who are experienced, we slowly transformed into something formidable. Gruelling hours spent underneath the sun, sweat-drenched and muscles sore, we trained together, to function as one. Frustrations mounting, it was important that we constantly remind ourselves of what is required from every one of us. Sacrificing hours, foregoing things we wished to do, so that we may be together to work on our weaknesses and strengths. All these time, growing stronger together, as a team. Feeling ourselves get stronger, mentally and physically, it provided motivation to continue to trudge on this difficult path. The words of those who doubted us, fed the fire that pushes us onwards. We believed we can, and thus we will. Alas, the day came and we felt the tingle down our spines, a mixture of anxiety, fear, excitement and release. All that we have done, it amounted to that day. The day when everything mattered, every count, every heave and every strain. Pushing our limits. When it finally came to an end, though words were flying about of victory, we refuse to accept it until finally, one by one, the awards came pouring in. Unifying us ever more.

We entered as many, but we emerged as one.

Victorious

Honourable mention : The whole of Beta Titans Team, and the Beta HC.

AWESOMEE

Yea ma niggas.

In the frenzy of Life,

I escaped to a haven, beyond waters

Among people whom I hold dear

Basking in the glow,

of the anchors of the world.

Momentarily forgetting,

the troubles and burdens.

To simply smile,

in remembrance of present and old.

She was once a woman of strength, upright and able.
Now, she is old and frail, weak from disease and a decrepit shell.
Though at heart, she is still the woman she was, she can no longer be.
Her limbs, they fail her as they succumb to the many ailments that afflict her.
She is alone, with no succesor to carry forth the purpose of her existence.
She can no longer fulfill their demands but still remain, by the edge of a thread.
Her end is coming to an end, and she has awaited for it, for so long.
She has lived too long, but still too short a time for what she has to be.
Too much has changed in such a short time and she feels lost.
Lost as the world she once knew, has been distorted beyond recognition and repair.
She heaves a sigh, saddened over what has befallen the people.
Alas, her time time will come, and so will theirs.

The stars shall cease to shine.
The sun shall rise from the west.
and evil shall be rampant.

Th.e.n.d

This is me. A Helper, you agree?

Helpers are warm, involved, providing and sensitive for the needs of other people; they offer help to their fellow man. The help has as intention to show their own superiorit...y (unaware). It's hard for them to get through their soul. RELATIONSHIPS: You need to get the acceptance of friends, lovers and family. You are often afraid that relationships will end bad. Because you don't know your own needs and desires, you are unaware looking for people who foresee in their needs, just because of who they are. FIXATION: flattery VICE: arrogance VIRTUE: humility PROFESSIONS: nurse, personal assistant, make-up artist, psychologist...

Hm.

Hi people, meet Jack Sparrow

I did not realize that this was th last week of school till a friend of mine told me, amazing how time flies huh. One week, to term four, the last term for the year. My god, a YEAR has passed.

Have you realized? Have you really grasped the reality of this? Our 'honeymoon' year is coming to an end people, an END. Soon, we'll be J2s, with the A's ahead of us, so close, yet seemingly distant, or so we think it will be. Ahh but why am I thinking so far ahead when th challenges faced today have not even been overcome. Promos, thats th word for th moment. PROMOS, heh

Its begins on the 12th, and ends on the 16th. A single week, a mere four days, that will very much be our first hurdle to our A's. A week, thats all. Just 5 papers, Biology, Mathematics, Economics, Chemistry and General Paper. Truth be told, I am more fearful of the promos than I was for the O's itself. I daresay it is uncommon for me to say that something is difficult for me, but yes, these subjects are challenging. Mmm, but eventually, we will all see the light if we find it hard enough, yea? I think it is time, for me to pick up my books, and get a piece of paper and pen

Whenever everytime things seem distant, when every sound seems to be just loud echoes,
it reminds me of my very warped nightmare, one that has haunted me over and over again, though less frequently now.

Theres a big mess of machinery, of gears and what not, integrated as one unstable mechanism. I am merely a small observer of this frighteningly massive object. Then, without any warning, it suddenly breaks apart, into huge pieces of metal that rain down on me. Helpless as I am, I am suddenly saturated with guilt, somehow responsible for the chaos that had occured. Within my mind itself, there is chaos. The world seems to be flashing black and white, confusing and glaring. There is no proper definition of anything that resembles the physical world as the lines that border these objects are constantly changing, like scratches or when the television receives no transmission. I am getting smaller, as the chunks of metal get larger, and all these while, I am frozen, rooted to the ground, unmoving. I am not running for shelter or shielding myself, merely standing there, open to the onslaught. The onslaught that never arrives, merely happening, never impacting. As though I am a spectre, I observe myself from afar, unbounded yet affected.

Then I wake up.

It is a pressing time for us.

Datelines and expectations,

project work and promos.

Sleep, a luxury we oh so treasure.

Sapped of our energy,

we drag ourselves,

persevering this torment.

For in our minds,

it is not th surrounding darkness that fills.

But rather, the warm glowing light,

amidst soft fluffy pillows.

Think not of the panda lids,

weary eyes and dazed mind.

Lest we doom ourselves,

to reality and its crushing blow.

Ramadhan, a.k.a the fasting month, is finally coming, in two days!
Though it is a significant event, I'm surprised that not many non-muslims truly understand the purpose, significance and it in general, haha. So I shall try to see what I can share yea?

See, Ramadhan is a month that spans from 28 days to 30 days, and USUALLY happens towards the second half of the year. See, the Muslim calendar is similar to the Gregorian calendar, with 12 months and all, however, there is one difference. Each month of the Muslim calendar begins when theres a new moon, and hence ends when a new one is seen. Due to this characteristic of the Muslim calendar, it is shorter than the Gregorian calendar by 11 days, and thus each month would happen 11 days ahead of the date it previously happened! Thats why Ramadhan keeps getting closer and closer. It could even happen on January eventually! Damn, lol.

The purpose of fasting is simple, it is to remind one of the hardships faced by people, such as those who go on living with little or no food at all. This reminder serves as something to humble one as well as make one grateful of the bounty one receives, and takes for granted. Simple? Haha

However, there is more to it than it seems! This is where the lack of understanding comes in. See, what we mean by fasting is NOT only to consume food, but rather involves many other matters. The basic rule that you have to abide by is not not to eat, but rather to not have anything to enter one's body through the holes in one's body such as mouth, nose etc. So this means that we can't like put in finger in our mouth or smoke! Theres more! Other than not eating, one has to restrain oneself from thinking of bad things or do for any for that matter, you know, haha. One also cannot swear, cannot think of food, cannot drink and stuff like that.

This is where the other purpose of fasting comes in. To look at it merely as not eating would be shallow, in my opinion. The other purpose is to resist the temptations that exist within us. This temptation, we call it nafsu, is something that exists within ALL of us, at any given time or given place. Its like the wanting of the heart, the body, you dig? This wanting is not necessarily good, and may even be detrimental to us. Hence, fasting hopes to strengthen one's inner self-control against these temptations. So please people, be considerate and not offer us food or tempt us!

Scientifically speaking, fasting in GENERAL, and not necessarily in the Muslim context, is actually beneficial to the body! It supposedly gives the stomach a period of resting, relaxing and recovering. The stomach, as any part of the human body, cannot be overworked. What is meant by overworked is how it is always in use, as we consume food daily, hourly. A period of time where we do not consume food as regularly would help the stomach and also detoxify the body from the harmful substances that come along with today's food.

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As I typed all the above, my eyes were closed. Training is fun, and tiring, DOH. Till we met again, take care people!

and remember,

SEVEN MORE WEEKS TO PROMOTIONAL EXAMSSS

if only i could blog through audio, itll be so fun!

says hello in a weird voice. HELLO. haha

I just had my quarter-yearly haircut just now, and now my hair is less curly! My sister says its like carpet grass, interestingg. My barber was an Indian man. Its not very common to see an Indian man able to speak Chinese working at a Malay barber. Racial integration, quite cool man.

I think it must have been difficult for him to cut my hair cause as he was cutting it, he tugged at it quite fiercely, pain man. There was one time where he raised my hair all th way to make it easier for him to cut and man, I look like super saiyan with curly hair! If youre wondering what that looks like, its something like this.

Then we shared a laugh, cause its really funny! Damn, my hair is long. Imagine, normally curly hair seems short cause th hair just curls and curls. Before this, mine was like BALL. A huge ball of hair, it was damn long. Pity the barber. It took him a while to cut my hair short, and now, it looks like this!

Im sorry to crush your enthusiasm, but its on the computer. Haha! I think my hair is an apt representation of myself, lol. Its curly and messy and all, which is like me, never staying still, always moving about, energetic. Its curliness hides its depth, just as how I'm so hyper and high that sometimes people think theres no deeper side of me, haha. Lastly how no matter what, it remains the same, neverchanging, like me and my beliefs. Never will I let them go. I can't even imagine myself with straight hair, its just too weird. Go ahead and try, lol.

The retarded things I did in front of the mirror while changing just now:

1) Try to belly dance, LOL. ALMOST THERE, but not quite. Don't ask me why, haha

2) Do the robot dance

3) Pretend I'm doing silat, a traditional form of fighting, where i laughed at myself after doing it.

4) Weird and funny facial expressions

5) Yoga, HAHA

HELLO GAYS.

I have moulted from the downcast shell I resided in.

I am now of many colours, of flight and happiness!

I am Ahmed Khalil Khan. Wheee

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A friend of mine, Zafirah Zein, returned on short notice from Dubai a few weeks ago.

A rather close friend, all of us here in Singapore missed her greatly!

Our friend here is the life of a party, and so, we held a party by the beach yesterday!

It was rather mundane at the start, with people missing and what not.

But as the sun sank deeper into the sea, ahh the party emerged!

Though there were some who were not as close, the walls came crashing down

and all of us seemed like we were friends for ages, such a good feeling it was.
The food was delicious, the atmosphere seemed alive, the place free from authority,

and most importantly, the people,

were

absolutely

fantastic

and a note, before the party got going, me, fadhil, husrin and sean, went off to just chill, and got high on redbull, THIS, serves as an explanation for some pictures you will soon see, haha!

Here they are

Some of the people

The Guys, this was probably th most decent picture of us

Me Husrin Sean Fadhil.

Our Mess :D

The People that stayed till late

The following pictures are normal pictures.

ZAFIRAH!

That was it, lol.

Here are those of when we were high!

They are many more, but ah, it is late now, is it not? For that, I shall end here, goodnight people! Good are the days, we must treasure them for very soon, they will simmer and cease to exist :D