I seem to have quite an imagination.


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Let us re-examine the story of Sleeping Beauty, you know, the one in Disney.
APPARENTLY, what we have been reading for decades is WRONG, a twisted version of the TRUTH.

Let me tell you the reaaaal story, here goes.

Once upon a time, there lived Princess. We shall not name her, cause I don't recall her name in the tale. She had the most stunning features in all DisneyLand. Her hair, as black as ebony, the skin, as fair as one can be, and her lips, as red as blood can be. Alas, no one is perfect. She was very unfortunate for she is as round as a pumpkin. Grostequely fat. She searched throughout the land for a way to shed off some weight, but to no avail. To add to that, her step mother had been very cruel to her! She forced her to vomit out her food in an attempt to stop gaining weight but once again, to no avail. Too disgusted to call her her step daughter, the step mother banished her into the woods! She ran and ran till her legs gave way and found a cave nearby. Dog tired, she slept, using leaves as her mattress and the earth as her bed.

When she woke up the very next day, she found seven stout but fit dwarves standing over her, their faces red as beetroot. Panicking, she tried to stand up, but realized she could not as she had been sleeping flat on the ground! Finally after a few minutes of trying, and perspiring through her dress, did one of the dwarves helped her up.

"What-cha doing her woman?!" Said the one who helped her up.

"I'm sorry! I didn't know this was your cave! I have been banished from my land, and could find no other refuge, please forgive me!" She begged on her knees.

Pitying for the beautiful princess, there invited her over to their cottage where they had prepared the most scrumptious of meals. The Princess's eyes almost popped out of their sockets when she saw the feast. Without wasting a second for thought, she chomped through the feast while the seven dwarves looked on, surprised. When she had satisfied her stomach, she lied down on the floor and once again, fell into a deep sleep.

The Princess was struck awake the next morning by the thumping of boots. With much trouble, she stood up and saw that the dwarves were going back to the caves. Not wanting to be left alone in the cottage, she snatched a pair of black worn boots and tried to catch up. When she finally arrived at the cave, long behind the dwarves, she saw that they had already started mining. Once again, not wanting to feel left out, she too started to mine. The hours seemed to go by so slowly, every minute an eternity of torment for her arms. Sweat dripped off her forehead in an endless stream. Not hearing any of them complaining or stop, she too did not despite her arms begging to stop. Finally, when the cave was filled completely with darkness, did the sounds of pickaxes being dropped echo across the walls. Caught in a frenzy to keep on mining, the Princess did not stop until the dwarves finally forced the pickaxe out of the hand and caught hold of her. As if she was a rabid animal, she started foaming at the mouth and eventually passed out.

Rays of sunlight blinded her and forced her eyes open. The Princess sat up, wondering what had happened. She was on a bed, with food prepared in front of her! As usual, she devoured it without a thought and fell back asleep. However, the next time she woke up, she found that her arms seemed lighter! "How is this possible!?" She thought. Only then did she realize how effective mining had been to shed off her fats. Astounded and excited at this new oppurtunity, she immediately went off to the caves, ready to mine again.

This continued for quite some time and she developed a strong bond with her fellow miners. They looked out for each other, helped her stop mining and even prepared for her food! In eternal debt to them, the Princess vowed never to binge ever again. The dwarves were so proud of her. Little did they know that the Princess had been bingeing behind their backs, unable to control her appetite after so many years. One day, the dwarves found out and were extremely disappointed with the Princess. In a flutter of rage, they agreed to never allow the Princess to mine ever again so that she will suffer forever as a fat person. With nowhere to hide her face, the Princess shut off the world and fell into a deep sleep, not intending to wake up and face reality ever again.

Seeing the Princess asleep, never ever waking up, sorrow and regret creeped into the little dwarves' hearts. As a gift, they created a gigantic glass coffin, so that they may forever see her beautiful features as she lay there, unmoving.

Somewhere faraway, a Prince hears of this and is love struck by the idea of a Princess sleeping forever in a glass coffin! He then embarked on a journey of years to find her. Back in the woods, the dwarves become aware of a strange phenomenon, the princess is becoming THINNER as the years go by! By the time the Prince arrived, the Princess had lost so much weight that she looked truly beautiful! ( except for the fact that she wore very over-sized dresses ) Holding a croissant in one hand, he lifted the cover of the glass coffin to give her a kiss. After staying dormant for so long, and unexposed to the smell of food due to the glass coffin, the mind kicked awake. Sending electrical impulses to her jaw in a split second, she did what was second nature to her, to CHOMP! Thinking that he had awaken the princess by kissing her, they happily agreed to marry each other and live happily ever after.

MORAL OF THE STORY : Lipids is an excellent energy storage molecule that is only assimilated once all glucose in the body is used up!

I WAS BORED IN TH BUS IM SORRY x)