Weighing In

I speak for no one but my self;

that I am truly inadequate in my understanding, for one only learns and understands when he progresses from a state of ignorance to a state of enlightenment, the path of wisdom shown in Light.

I shake in the face of adversity,

I shake in the face of trials,

My will like a dandelion blowing in the wind, getting weaker and weaker and weak.

I have no words to express my anguish, only to seek redemption and to try, and try, again.

What are we but a being measured by our deeds, 

done in darkness or done in light, just a measure.

Abu Huraira reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, 

“Verily, Allah does not look at your appearance or wealth, but rather He looks at your hearts and actions.”

Source: Sahih Muslim 2564

Zombie

Weighted limbs hang from the weighted body that belies the weighted mind,

the mind, weighed by thoughts, thoughts propel action and is propelled by it.

I began the day a corpse, the light of day barely grazing the darkness of my soul,

my shell of a body, hampered by the broken mind, a result of the forgetful heart.

I took on the day, a corpse seeking redemption, wanting to bathe in light and life,

my heart trying to remember, seeking to remind itself of itself, until I finally did.

I look at the day, though the sky is dark and the night is nigh, now there is Light,

the heart is remembering, the mind is beautiful and the body is alas, full of Life.

We only wrong our own Souls, we really do, our actions the extension of its condition.

The Sins we wrought, only seeks to darken the darkened, and slip further into forgetting.

The Goodness we do, only seeks to lighten the enlightened, and be bathed ever in Light.

Oh how we forget, and Oh how we lose ourselves.

Yet, like the cold muscles at the start of day, we stretch and stretch and find ourselves nimble.

As is the Heart, it started out dark, oh so dark, and we kept searching for light, sought and found.

Alhamdulillah.

You are the One I seek, in moments of darkness as I scramble in disbelief and terror,

You are the Light that shines the way, bringing me back to Your path, and only You.

And I submit. There is no confession worthy of confessing for You reside in my hearing, my hearing, my speech, and I am a given to You but not to my self, oh how I am still so lost and blind to myself.

There is Hope.