Monday, May 26, 2014

Najm


In the cover of darkness, with the sound of waves lapping lazily on the sand, with the wind blowing softly a breeze, I sat and looked upon the stars for the glittering light that guided civilizations of people before me when the night was darkest and the moon was absent. 

Glittering stars that stayed true to their course and purpose , never straying away from a singular course, of which I take after in this ever-changing landscape of life, death and everything in between. 

I look longingly into them, their illumination brief but true, hoping that in the solace of night and solitude, that I may find inspiration for change and improvement, for I lay in a chasm of my own doing, too deep to call for help, too shallow to call for help, for only I can help myself in the undertaking of my self. 

I look upon the stars, their glittering light enveloped by infinite darkness, yet still brightly they shine. How I long to be clean and bright, like a shard of light in the sea of darkness.

Monday, May 05, 2014

Chicken Rice

I look for quiet places, they hold great value to me.
The bustle of a hawker centre can be a quiet place.
The tranquillity present in an empty park is one too.
The company of someone can also be a quiet place.

Quiet places are places where peace is present,
peace and harmony, amidst chaos and troubles.
Some people can speak endlessly, their words like honey.
Some people can speak endlessly, their words like noise.

I will smile, seemingly randomly,
looking at things, person, places,
even if no joke or story was told,
simple joy tugging at my cheeks.

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When I was younger, I battled anger and sadness and disappointment, putting up a wall against them, denying them entry into my heart. For a while, I felt victorious, thinking myself overcome such emotions. Presumptuous.

Like water ebbing at shore, as time went by, my wall got weaker and weaker, yet the emotions never stopped, as we live, we experience them over and over again. Yet we can only hold out for so long before the wall crumbles. 

They ate me from the inside out, no one made me angry, I was angry at myself. No one brought me sadness, yet I felt sad, and disappointed in others and myself. Oh the irony, of those ignorant of the condition of their own Hearts.

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I was standing still, my mind free from any conscious thoughts.
I was awake, alive and aware, yet somehow, I felt light, floaty.

Sometimes, we do things that we have no good reason for. We do things that we are not sure if they are good or bad, foolish or wise. Then it dawned upon me, when we do such actions, we have given ourselves to the flow of the Universe. Of course there is an opposing force to the flow, and they seek to corrupt our desires and mislead us. Then I realized the importance of knowing myself, to know and distinguish between the two forces that governs our actions and Life. Often, this is the simple test that makes, or breaks us.