Friday, March 25, 2011

my personal statement, I don't know how to feel about it. its supposed to highlight my academic interest and intellectual capacity. OH WELL.



In the 2nd year of Junior College, I was involved heavily in many sports competitions, 2 at national levels, the National Schools Sports Climbing Competition (NSSCC) in 2010 and the National A Divisions Cross Country as well  as 4 others that are recognized locally and internationally. As such, much of my time after curriculum hours as well as weekends are spent at school trainings and personal training. Albeit, the sacrifice I made was worth it as I managed to emerge as champion for one of the 4 competitions, namely Pumpfest 2010 as well as the silver award for speed team and Overall Best School in NSSCC 2010.

I have always been and always will be, a devoted sportsmen, yet I am also one that prides myself in my academics. Throughout the year, I was stretched for time while balancing academics and sports. However, being in my final year where opportunities for competing were dwindling, I made a risky decision to prioritize competitions for the first half of the year and believe in my intellectual capacity as well as passion for academics to drive me for the extremely vital second half where exams and much stress would come upon me. I am passionate for Biology and despite that decision, I made it a resolution to ensure that my Biology grades remain at least a B and I am proud to say that I fulfilled that resolution. Most of my teachers saw it as an unweighted decision on my part and decided to let me be. Knowing myself to be a high calibre student, I chose not to let their disapproval affect me. However, they were a handful who had faith in me. They believed I knew what I was doing and this simple gesture was what drove me during the difficult times.

It was during the A levels results day that I was able to prove to many of my teachers otherwise by doing exceptionally well for my A levels by getting 6 Distinctions. Given my passion and perseverance, I strongly believe that if i were given the right opportunities, I would be able to harness my potential and excel.

Life.

Saturday, March 19, 2011

There are some people in this world, whom whenever you meet them, or even just intend to meet them, will make you realize what kind of person you are, all the deeds you've done, be it the good, or the bad, and just open your eyes to see who you are. A strange feeling overwhelms me whenever I meet such people, suddenly, I feel ashamed, for whoever I will meet, these people, they are the best of people, not in appearance or status, but of character, be it kindness, patience, or tolerance and here I am, someone who clearly knows that sometimes, what I do is wrong, and yet, continue to do so. I feel dirty, impure, contaminated with whatever the world has tempted me with. Then I ponder on more than the world, about Death and the Afterlife. How, how can I meet with my Creator, when even with the people whom he has blessed I am already ashamed to meet?

Heart in throat, thats what I felt. I am grateful that I am able to have such experiences, happy to say that I have to capacity to realize such things and a simple wish that I will better myself with each experience.

Friday, February 18, 2011

MAN, you really only know the value of some things only till you lose it, like th comfort of your bed, th comfort of waking up late during th day, th comfort of hot showers and even th simple comfort of good tasting Milo that i've been served all my life! As you can already deduce, my life has taken a rather drastic renovation, widely known to all male Singaporeans above th age of 18 as NATIONAL SERVICE. I am now bald, black, and definitely getting fitter, and I'm not complaining, its a breath of fresh air that I like actually. I've only served a mere 10 days out of th one YEAR and ten MONTHS I owe the nation and already I sense a difference in me.

Th 10 days have had a profound impact in me, despite its short duration, I have forged a strong bond with my squad, relinquishing the individualistic feelings we have and attaining a more rewarding 'we' instead of 'me', and especially so with my bunkmates with whom I will be staying with for at least 3 months. They're a bunch of cool people I tell you, sometimes we share moments where only we get it, and damn, its really mind-numbingly funny. The 10 of us, 7 of which are Malay and 3 others being Chinese, HAHA! These 10 days is our confinement week in which as th name states, we're confined for 10 days straight, unable to book out during weekends, supposedly a rather tough time, hah. And true that, we did get a lot of drilling, scolding, punishments and pumping, emotions were high on some occasions but we always had to remind ourselves that we must always think as a group and things would settle down, more or less. One for all, all for one, simple rule, live by it and its all good, or all bad, choose one. Thankfully most of my squad mates are cooperative and believe in being a single unit, so its all good! Another thing from th 10 days is th experience of communal living, damn its a good feeling! Wake up every morning you pass by your 'neighbours' and we all still in mid slumber, eyes half open make our way slowly to the toilet to wash/freshen up, that is until someone shouts 'HURRY UP ITS ALMOST TIME!' then as if by magic, you see everyone rushing around, as if time was fast forwarded to twice its normal speed and BOOMZ! We're all in our formation awaiting instructions, and thats how a typical day begins, at 5am. Then later at night, you see us in our shorts with slippers and a singlet on, walking around, cleaning our bunks, or on th floors polishing our boots or just resting and talking rubbish with each other. Time slows down at night, its a good way to wind down! Yeah, I can get used to this for awhile more... And then theres th singing while we're bathing, its like a mini Singapore Idol between th cubicles I tell you! Haha! Thankfully, theres 2 of us that can sing, so its quite nice sometimes, before everyone joins in, and just becomes a din. What goes on in between these two occurences are too various to say, but I have essentially summarized it by saying that its always a 'we' and not 'me' and that takes shape in many forms, during our drills, during PT, during lessons and even when we're just sitting down doing nothing awaiting instructions. Magic word : Discipline.

Alright, Ima sleep now.

Monday, January 31, 2011

I was having a conversation with someone.

They say you should love God, but before you love anything, you must KNOW about that thing, right? Know what are the qualities of that thing that make you love that thing. And before THAT, you must know yourself, know what are the things that you love, so that you may find it somewhere else. So here I am, wondering, in the wee hours of the night, typing away my thoughts as they come, sometimes like a crawl through the mud, slow and arduous, full of effort, others as effortlessly as water flowing. Do I know myself? Thats a question I've always pondered time and again. It may sound absurd but personally, I think its a very important question. You gotta know yourself so that when you decide on something, you are fully away of your undertaking of whatever you chose. I talk, a lot. However, whenever I'm silent, I realize my thoughts are always swirling around a few significant things, and the many branches that are linked to them, namely Life, Death and God. Theres a saying that goes something along the lines of 'A person is truly himself when he is alone.'

I am drowning my thoughts in music, my eyes are closed and the music swallows me whole. This is a good feeling.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

I am small, on a tricycle, cycling around th carpark in th dark of night, all alone, strangely unafraid as I discover strange things at every corner, a shadow trailing me as I meander through all th corners.

I am medium, walking on a crowded street, looking for something I didn't know, just pushing through th crowd, and finally found it, my brother and father, by this shop, looking at a single man in blue shirt, big, black and bald, yet somehow familiar. My dad's excited, saying 'its him! its him!' He turns, and he smiles, his eyes a glint that is so familiar it immediately connects. A sigh of relief and we just watch as he disappears into th crowd, his size an illusion in this fog of life. My wallet slips out and a single coin rolls out awkwardly on th floor, suddenly an empty circle, I pick it up.

I am large, in a crowded mosque, taking off my shoes and taking ablution when I suddenly realized I'm just wearing shorts. Weird, I clearly remembered wearing long pants, and I start to search for it, but is unable to find it. I panic and call out to my friends. Suddenly, we're in taxi and I'm wearing long pants, there is a lady, a mother of one of my friends, th taxi driver makes a turn and we wonder where we're going. He points out this mosque, not th one we're from and we just accept it. Th mosque reverberates a strange vibe, I knew theres something wrong, I recognize the mosque, and asks my friend if I'm right, I am. Its a strange mosque, but we had to attend prayers which was starting soon, and we just went ahead. The taxi driver parks th taxi in front of an alley, with an archway which was strangely ancient with mold and signs of erosion, and under a large shadow which is from an unknown source.

Then I woke up. Tiring.
Seemingly a random dream, but these kinda long and vivid dreams usually aren't. Somewhere in that mess, is a message for me, for something I've done.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Sometimes, the lips do not speak what the mind intends to convey, what more our actions, which are open to more interpretation and along the way, may be distorted and perceived in a different light that the true intentions are completely lost? Yet, how else can we communicate with others? I've always tried to convey my thoughts as clearly as possible, with words and actions, from intonation to gestures, but as always, and inevitably, things don't go as planned. People misinterpret and get upset or hurt. Truly, it is never my intention to hurt, maybe to joke around and tease, but never hurt. I would know as I am, as reluctantly as I am to admit, somewhat sensitive to the words of others, even those whom I am close to and thus know their manners and character. I realized that I've become a quieter person these days, in hopes that the silence will discipline my lips and really think before I speak, as in th past, I am very sure that my words have often been said with half a thought and had hurt many others and I am truly sorry for that. Although I'm trying to speak less, its rather obvious that I still have lots to say, and I understand when people don't understand what I say, cause I agree, I tend to murmur and slur my speech, oh well. Words are really such a blunt tool of communication, especially verbal speech. It ticks me when people don't get what I say, not in the sense that my words are slurred or anything, but rather they don't get what  I'm trying to convey or mean to say, even when I structure my sentence as clearly as possible and speak coherently. Don't mind me, I'm just rambling, its how I settle my thoughts apart from drawing seemingly random things.

I have set up a high mental barrier to shield my emotions, from past experiences, I've learnt that giving my heart to another is a hurtful experience especially if the people given such a thing are not honourable in their words or true at heart. I pride myself in being able to read the expressions and words of people to somehow see through them, however, love does weird things to you. I am a person who truly respects honesty and although time and again, others has hurt me through facades and deceit, I am still willing to give you a chance to bear my heart which I readily give, however, the question lies in whether you accept it in full honesty. It is hard for me to admit this but, as inevitable as it, the past does indeed affect me and I am afraid that it will haunt me once more. Like an insecure boy, all I seek is confirmation and promise, but although it sounds simple, I know its a difficult demand to fulfill. I am a person who does things out of sincerity and it is with sincerity that I give away my heart, have no fear, I will guard yours as it were mine, but please do the same for me.

Sunday, January 09, 2011

imagine a clock, the gears turning and meeting each teeth of another gear in a smooth orchestrated motion, fluid and elegant, yeah, mind used to be like that, but now, as I observe it, its getting rusty, with loud, dragging noises as they creak about their axles. Our minds like a muscle, it needs constant use to remain at its optimum level, leave it unused for long times and it will be like losing your memory, everything's just about out of reach or takes a lot longer to process. Damn, if this is gonna continue, i'm gonna lose a lot of IQ points when I go NS. Haii...

On another note, WHOOOOO, can't wait for my enlistment date! okay, hold on a minute, i'm not really THAT excited, but yknow, still is? cause its a new chapter of my life, with new people, a completely new experience, and obviously one that would greatly mature me, hopefully, HAHA! Its like th feeling you get while you're waiting in line for your turn to climb during a competition yknow, th lukewarm feeling, accompanied by the jittery nerves and excitement, yeah, that. and of course, ze money. looking forward to some sort of financial independence yea, hate asking my parents for money to go out or buy stuff, with a small albeit stable income, can lay off th burden abit yea, so its all good...

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

I'm not feeling pensive in any way, but just wanna update regarding matters of late.

Okay, so lets rewind a bit. Prom Night. Man, that was an epic night. Met with them gay climbers at our hotel room first to prepare, lol that was funny. Every one of us was good-looking, as always. Then we proceeded to the hotel and BAM! Like system shock sia, since when TJC got so many good-looking people?! HAH. So yeah, then badabing badaboom, end of prom stuff, a hell lot of photos, shit got tired of smiling, but it was such a happy event so its okay, and we're off to post-prom with the climbers! HAHAHAHAHA shit must not be told, so nuh-uh. But I sure can tell you it was hilarious x)

Hmm, okay lets see whats next. Oh yeah, Clements Birthday Party. HAHA Shit that was epic. But only for th later parts, at first they were many people and since everyones not really close to everyone, it was quite divided, then as the night went by, people left and the people whos left are th ones that know each other more and hence more comfortable with each other, hence leading to stupid shit conversations and mocking/jokes, take for example me being called BoobBoy. Met a couple of new people, made new friends, like the gayboy Minron from HCI, who so blatantly blamed me for corrupting him in just one night, and became closer to others, it was actually an opportunity to like catch up with people who've been missing throughout A's, namely Natesha the jewbear. LOL.

Joyce's birthdays chalets next! Hahaha it was a short chalet, didnt last the whole night like clements but it was still fun nonetheless. Actually during th chalet i realized my class is a bit retarded in their own unique way, which i find endearing.

So yeahh, thats about all th happenings that happened?
Shit i think im getting high, like those stoned high, not th hyperactive high. everything seems distant, the musics just floating around and yeah...

Thursday, December 02, 2010

this a glorious morning people.
WHY? Cause, as thousands across Singapore have probably already screamed at th top of their lungs or silently whispered to their hearts, that A levels, is FINALLY, OFFICIALLY, over. Yes, yes, I am indeed late regarding this 'update' but I choose to only do it when it is really really over, y'know, when th last paper is done. Looking back now, it only lasted for FOUR measly weeks, but it sure felt longer, more like a month. Yeah, saying it differently has different effects on me, I'm weird like that. 2 years have passed and now we're back here in the bubble of emptiness, okay not for those IP/TA people, they have yet to experience such sensations.

Yet, in all the celebration amidst us, I would like to thank whomever that have supported and pushed me on yeah? The first is always Him and that goes without saying, secondly to my little sister, who witnessed me in all my agony as I came as close to cracking as I have ever been and through a simple post-it note on my mirror, managed to give me the drive to carry on, it read 'Mat, you've gone too far to stop now! Rmb, it is you who takes away your own confidence. Ingat dia je (Just remember Him), CHEMON LEE!'. A simple message to remind me that no matter all the words of encouragement spoken to you, it still boils down to your own desire to achieve. So here it is, thank you little sister. Thirdly, to my mother and father, who despite her cluelessness regarding the rigour and significance of JC life, have always given faith to me to always look at th positive side of things, to always have your hopes high and only speak of the good things and to my dad, for being the silent disciplinarian in the family, always hoping the best out of me yet never saying it, but its okay, your little contributions may seem invisible to others but not me, I see the little things you do behind my back to provide support, from simple acts of not watching your favourite soccer match cause you know it'll be noisy for me to sending me to school ( and failing to do so cause he sent me to me secondary school! ). Thank you mom and dad, I am eternally grateful for your deeds. And LASTLY, to all of you gay people who've shared th same boat throughout this journey, th times spent groaning and lamenting regarding A's, th times spent wondering what happens after As with eyes bright with hope and enthusiasm, and th times we toiled together in libraries, at homes, under the blocks, at the bustops, in th buses, at the Expo, at school, uniting our drive to support each other, Thank you my friends.

Strangely, th small and soft consolation I whisper to my heart, that As is finally over, has a greater effect on me than screaming it out with my all of my lungs as I initially thought.

And to celebrate the end of As, ahh as usual, it is with them gays, you climbers. Nothing beats spending time with you guys man, seriously, for all the nonsensical bullshit we share, underneath all that cock and bull, lies a connection between all of us, and for that, damn I have no words to speak of. Love you guys man, especially th guys, you fags. Such a weird manner of expression huh? Oh well, HAHA! and Of course with Natasha, whom you guys would only recently discover, except for some, yeah. :)

I WILL TOTALLY BE LATE FOR SCHOOL TODAY BUT OH WELL.

just for the feeling yeah;
A's IS OVERRRRR

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Everyone has their flaws, some big some small.
Though sometimes, it really gets in your face and you either just keep it in, or just shoot th person down. I have a strong tendency to just keep it in, y'know, just let it bounce about in my mind, usually it'll die down after awhile, but sometimes, when it occurs too frequently, you just feel like exploding. This is probably one of the reasons why inside i'm a pretty angry kid, but oh well, i'm sure its all safely locked inside, pity the person who unknowingly makes me explode. Furthermore, today something happened and I realized that I'm hardly sad because I channel my sad emotions into anger, and I think thats rather unhealthy, but oh well, thats the way I deal with things yea... Theres no special way of presenting my thoughts today, initially had a draft in my head when I was angry and all, but its all dissipated into nothingness so its just plain words. Mm, I'm tired. Goodbye

Tuesday, November 02, 2010

Smiling in the dark

This familiar rumble, of ups and down, and of butterflies,
yet, they are in th wrong place, no, not in my stomach.
Rather, it is in this little heart of mine. Oh th irony.
Like hot ice, this bittersweet feeling envelopes me whole.
I close my eyes, and listen to the beating of my heart,
Th organic morse code machine, sending a message.
Like th first sprout of spring, it will never cease to amaze,
th silence and darkness, right before th fireworks explode into colour.
All rivers take a meandering path, but it will always lead to the sea.
Alas, I have taken a slow meandering journey, and what awaits me?
Surprise, surprise it is as I have foreseen, nonetheless, surprisingly.
Ohh th irony, this familiar rumble, of ups, and downs, and of butterflies,
Is it me, or is it fate, or is it just my luck?

... ... .. .. . . . .. . . . .. . . . . . .. . . .. .. . .

I know, I know, A's is in 6 days!
But who am I to impede?

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Chugga chugga choo chooo!

The days are closing by, rushing by, going in a blur.
The intensity, so fierce, almost creeping into frantic.
Like mindless drones, we study till our brains well up.
Now and then, doubt fills our head and dark clouds hang by.
Everyone needs a reminder once in awhile, hang on, hang on!
Like a marathon, THIS is the final lap, will you give up?
Alas, as the saying goes, the night is darkest before dawn.
Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and dive in,
cause we're all there with you too.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Verbal response.

It seems that I'm always incapable of expressing myself coherently through verbal response.
Its a habit I guess, I speak too fast, always murmuring or slurring my words into one tangled mess.
It does get frustrating sometimes, and I would just not repeat myself, deeming the situation futile, preferring to let the person or persons decipher what I've just spoken. Oh well. I agree it does require some getting used to and not everyone can do it. I do believe that through words, I am much more successful in bringing across my point. It forces me to stop and look at the words I've typed before actually sending it. Though there are moments where no words can describe, but thats a whole different issue right there. But as clear as day, limiting one's expressions to mere words is obviously not a choice and hence, I will put in more effort to slow down my words. It does becomes a chore especially when my mind is on a roll and in order to not lose track of it, it just flows out. Nonetheless, I will try. The benefits are numerable and hence, worthwhile.

SPEAK SLOWLY.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Like dust in th wind we float by, guided by unseen, uncontrollable forces.
the unknown destination we head for, a constant flux in our minds, ever changing.
what we wish for, what we want, malleable and adaptable, can it be achieved?
Place weight in actions, hold th reins and steer as you wish, and bring change.
Change, as always, only comes through ideas set in motion and effort made.
Alas, the outcome still lies in the fog of Life, so close, yet never in our grasp.
Inevitable. The forces, they remain unseen and uncontrollable, laying th way for us.
After all that can possibly be done, we can only hope and pray, that is as We intended.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Air dicincang tiada akan putus.


Thats a Malay proverb. Literally, it means that a stream of water, no matter how you slice, will always be flowing. Metaphorically, it means the bond between brothers, no matter the fights and arguments, will always remain. And it is one that I can very much relate to.

If you guys have ever placed me and my brother in a room, and hear us speak, or whatever, you'd probably see us bickering or having a laugh while mocking someone or something like that. And damn, when we bicker, often it would be the both of us shouting at each other followed by harsh silence, then before we know it, al iz well once more. As we grow up, my brother and I, naturally, we are molded through the different experiences that we face in life and as a result, have conflicting views and attitudes regarding some issues. Inevitably, as boys growing up charged with hormones, we fight and argue and sometimes hit each other, but despite all that shit, we will always remember the wise words of our elders and let the dust settle and you know, chill out like normal times, which is every other time when we're not fighting. And the best thing is, its like you know, being brothers, we're equipped with an inborn Bluetooth connection, so even when neither of us speaks during the silence, we know what each other is thinking, and you know, being the mature people we are, we always know who is in the wrong and shit like that, so its like a natural spontaneous forgiving process that occurs invisibly. But obviously being the younger one, it is my nature and also out of respect, that I accept my brother for who he is and you know, accept each other's flaws and stuff cause, yeah, nobody's perfect yeah?

Wednesday, October 06, 2010

Its 3am, I wake up and stare at the darkness all around me.
I wonder where I am, and most importantly, why am I here.
No answers come to mind and I just sit there, wondering.
I see familiar faces, we speak and we move, but I don't know to where.
Suddenly apprehension grips me and I suddenly feel that I'm doing something wrong.
I shake off the feeling and focus my thoughts
and then I wake up.

Tiring dream. It was as if I've been awake since the moment I woke up in my dream, which had a negative effect on me throughout the day, feeling stoned all day long. I have to find a way to unravel my thoughts, my dreams are getting too confusing to be interpreted, too strange... A reflection of my thoughts, possibly in liquid silver with ripples all around. Someday, they will stop and hopefully, hopefully, I'll be able to understand clearly.

Saturday, September 25, 2010



The Ying and Yang of World Hunger


See, thats th kinda drawings that i wanna make,

at first sight, it seems, well, kinda messed up, sometimes th subjects that make it up seem a bit unlinked, but the more you look at it and observe it, it becomes ever clearer and suddenly, it all dawns upon you, BAM! its a wonderful feeling, to connect the dots between two ideas, and to project it onto paper and infusing creativity into it, while simultaneously bringing across a message, that isn't necessary clear but given time and thought, will be evident to those who lay their minds upon it, mm such a wonderful feeling. And usually, I aim for that in them.

Monday, September 20, 2010

Sometimes, we bear the heaviest of burdens, th darkest of secrets.
They weigh us down, even th strongest will feel its weight.
In time, we grow stronger and it feels lighter, a relief.
Then we remember, we were just fooling ourselves, it is as heavy as before.
Then come a handful strangers into our life.
Strangers whom you have a sudden deep connection with,
whom through the test of time, of hormonal mood swings and a barrage of arguments,
emerge, as individuals who, through their presence, carry the weight along with you.
Individuals who I am truly, as far as my heart goes, grateful and thankful for.

We speak our wishes in shadows and hushed tones,
yet they somehow hear it out loud and respond,
Not necessarily to fulfill, merely to acknowledge.
When it is too painful to say, they listen, to our hearts
Facial expressions schooled to fool all others,
sometimes betray the inner emotions that bode within.
The comfortable silence that hangs in the atmosphere,
veiling the unspoken conversation between us

Human beings have the innate need to form connections.
Bonds are formed between people undergoing a similar experience,
Strong bonds are formed between people who have undergone the ups and downs,
The strongest of bonds are formed when these bonds are strained,
and however strongly they are pulled, they remain sturdy and through this, become stronger.

'The mind, once stretched beyond its original dimensions, will never revert back to it.'
-Albert Einstein


Friday, September 17, 2010

Its been awhile since I last written anything so, there won't be any particular direction to my words tonight, just whatever that pops in my head, just gotta write, makes me feel good.

OKAY, well, what a relief, today is over. Truthfully, today was quite a mentally tiring day, with chem in the morning and bio and in the afternoon, even my mind is tired, and that doesn't happen often mind you. Seriously, whoa, it was such a combination bio and chem, but thankfully, it went alright, or so i hope to believe.

Well, I hand it over to You man, I have done what I believe is sufficient, as You have said, change does not come without effort, and truly, I have invested much time and ... yea time, oh yea and sleep, to the enlightenment and sharpening of my mind, But, in the end, it all boils down to Your decision, so here is my plea to You, let me achieve what I seek.

Mm. Quite intense times, but oh well, that is life, or our life here in Singapore, no point blabbering about how its unfair or whatever anyways. But sometimes, you gotta question yourself, why do YOU study? A question with ever-changing answers as you move from one person to another. Sometimes I wonder too, why. Generally, well, its obviously to secure a somewhat stable insurance to a good future, y'know, good job and shit like that. Sometimes, we study, cause we just have to, its the way the world works. Such a bummer.

I've just recently finished watching a movie called '3 Idiots', a Hindi comedy. As the name suggests, it involves three guys and true indeed, they deserve to be called idiots for their crazy antics. But man, this movie really moved me, not in the emotional like crying and all that, just those moments that you experience a sudden epiphany coupled with some emotional but positive surge, you dig? It encompasses around one of the three, a bright student, and oh yea, its about the journey of three friends through their varsity years. This dude, is one of those exceptional people as often depicted in movies, the crazy nice guy who despite all the retarded things he does, is a genius. Typical, I know. However, the thing that made this movie such a moving one for me was the advise he gave to his friends, and how he managed to rub off an aspect of him on his two buddies to the point that it was a life-changing thing for them. The trials that his friends experience, not by him, that really formed the essence of the movie. Such a nice movie.

Somewhere, something isn't working as well, something is getting worse, and damn it brings a foreboding feeling. The fluctuating searing pain, its a sign, something isn't right. But oh well, we shall leave it be, it will settle on its own, hopefully. Maybe its nothing, mm...

I miss fasting, contrary to what people think, I don't find it as a form of entrapment, but rather of release. There is a vibe you get when all this while, you want this and want that, and slowly, it all disappears and you want nothing, like a warm feeling of contentment wraps itself around me when I fast. Its like achieving inner peace in a sense, yeah, that. Mm....

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

Thursday, September 02, 2010

The Sound of Silence


Hello darkness, my old friend
I've come to talk with you again
Because a vision softly creeping
Left its seeds while I was sleeping
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence

In restless dreams I walked alone
Narrow streets of cobblestone
'Neath the halo of a street lamp
I turn my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light
That split the night
And touched the sound of silence

And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people maybe more
People talking without speaking
People hearing without listening
People writing songs that voices never shared
No one dared
Disturb the sound of silence

"Fools," said I, "you do not know
Silence like a cancer grows
Hear my words that I might teach you
Take my arms that I might reach you"
But my words like silent raindrops fell
And echoed in the wells of silence

And the people bowed and prayed
To the neon god they made
And the sign flashed out its warning
In the words that it was forming
And the sign said "The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls
And tenement halls
And whispered in the sound of silence

"This song about the inability for people to communicate with each other, not particularly internationally, but especially emotionally, so that what you see around you are people that are unable to love each other" 

-Art Garfunkel