What we tell ourselves, our minds intoxicated with thought.
The pinprick of light, emerging as we escape into the darkness
of our body succumbing to its human ends, to fatigue and of rest.
The remaining thoughts that emerge, as vivid as they may be before,
strangely forgotten when we wake from our sleep, a distant memory.
Like words at the tip of our tongues, like a sneeze midway through passage,
an incessant, unrelenting tugging as we ponder and inevitably meet with a wall.

Such a subtle yet influential event.

Our minds wander about as it unravels the events and thoughts floating by,
Like an ocean subjected to a storm, in constant flux, and full of chaos.
Pieces of a puzzle that were kept away, suddenly appearing clearly.
Keep calm and let it settle for it is a natural process, like breathing.
Embrace the sensation as peace creeps slowly into us,
The pinprick of light, greeting us with warmth,
silence the mind and be tranquil at heart.

A good sleep heals the mind and mends the body.

I have a strong affinity to animals, especially cats, and this really jerked some tears to my eyes.

... . .. .. .. . . .. . .. .. .. .. .. ... .. .. .. . . . ... . . ... . . .

Well people, we're really gonna be in one hell of a roller-coaster ride in the weeks to come, Guaranteed plus chop. Sure, it will be tough, that has already been assured. But what matters most is that we persevere and stand strong. The winds will batter us till we will want to drop to our knees, and many at times, we will feel like just giving up, but come on, thats not what we're here for are we? Hold tightly onto the reason why we've held on for so long and it will give us strength to trudge on. Look around and we'll see that everyones facing the same shit we are, and we gotta be there for each other, cause eventually, no matter what others say, only those experiencing the same things as we do will know how it truly feels. Indeed, the night is darkest just before dawn, and when day finally arrives, we will rejoice knowing that we have given our all for what is worth it. 

Allez

Bass, beats and rhythms provide me with some escape and release from the hectic lives we call lives, for now.
They speak my mind and generate momentum, energizing it while simultaneously hypnotizing me with its weaving.

You know, sometimes, at the end of the day when you're all tired and your minds feeling saturated, all you gotta do is just sit down somewhere comfortable, have a friend, and just take a moment to relax, talk and slow down a while. Yea, that works.

Who is my friend?

Hello, I've been waiting for so long, for you, just waiting oh-so-patiently for your arrival. In the dark, and in the light, In the rain, and in the sun. From the day you were born, for every breathe you take, I stand so silently, watching you as you age. Every tear your cried, every laughter, I have been there for you, your faithful companion. Sometimes, you do remember me, through reminders all around. The fear in your eyes, why is it there? Are you so attached to this place that you fear my arrival? Be reminded my young friend, this is merely a temporary abode. I will come for you, swiftly,  painfully or otherwise, you decide. For no matter what, it is the Inevitable. Till we meet my friend, farewell and may we meet embracing, peace be upon You. 

Well, I guess it is a common trait in people to believe that a person is merely what one sees them as seen through one's eyes. Sometimes, sometimes, thats not really the case. Sometimes, people show a different side of them in life so that others may pass through it with a smile etched on their faces and their days brighter. Sometimes, what they show isn't the only side they have, just one they feel is a nicer side that the world should see, often. But sometimes, people forget this. Its a form of ignorance I guess, to view another only through one vantage point. As unfair as it is, it is somewhat inevitable that this occurs and we must just accept it. However, when faced with such ignorance straight in the face, it does cause one to twinge a little inside. A tiny twinge that can and eventually will grow to become something... unpleasant? With such a stereotypical view that has been cemented in that person's head, it is undeniably hard to change it, hence to show one's other sides would be pointless. Ultimately, we all know ourselves best and the different facets that form our 'self'' albeit it does cause one to question the outcome should one do try to show one's other side, as failure is assured if no attempt is made, yes? It is as expected, sadly. Thankfully, as all things unpleasant within me, it can be extinguished easily or be buried further in the recesses of the seemingly endless glass bottle labelled emotions. Seemingly endless, if only. Sometimes, I wonder, when will it fill to the brim, and what happens then? 

Lets not ponder.

Sometimes, what we know as the truth isn't really it y'know?

I'm not speaking about the truth being the matter spoken by people

but rather of the truth of the matter that is.

Recently I've been having very strange dreams, very strange.

Sometimes, things that have never crossed my mind, consciously that is, would be depicted clearly in my head,

leaving a whole trail of confusion and questioning in my mind. Other times, I am at very strange places, though with people I know, whose presence by itself holds a significant meaning, albeit a hidden one. The most strangest of dreams that I have however are of dreams within dreams. Of waking up to reality while dreaming, as the movie Inception had so cleverly executed. 

These dreams, they're so vivid. Sprout from within me yet I do not understand.

They hold multiple meanings, so quizzical.

I don't get angry very easily, but sometimes, somethings just really tick me off. I've taken years to control and purge anger out of my system, cause personally, I think its unhealthy. But man oh man, when I do get angry, even I wonder how I'm capable of being that angry. Maybe its gotta do with th fact that I'm the kind of person to bottle my emotions up and just keep it in there, ignoring all the pressure thats building up. But thats just me, can't help it eh? Theres a very huge difference between getting pissed/irritated/annoyed/flustered/frustrated and angry, really. Nonetheless, there are always ways to vent it out without actually expressing it in the form of anger and thats what I will do. Pent up anger is not good for me either way.

I just find her really really, dayuum. Susan Coffey

Every time I go there, I feel refreshed when I'm back. A rejuvenating process that never fails to open my eyes to things I've previously been blind to, to clarify and cement the matters floating around in my head and of course, to just leave me hanging in limbo, jaws hanging in astonishment or mind jumbled up with a major conundrum. The last one comes without saying. Nonetheless, its still a good feeling. Its like suddenly realizing (again) how we're so small as an individual in a really huge world, or worlds I might add. Admittedly, these trips have affected me in more ways than one, and I gladly embrace the changes that follow. Sometimes, we need moments to slow down a little, get blown away by something, in the positive sense, and collect our thoughts, like a child with puzzle pieces? Everyone has their own way of experiencing this, and mine are these trips. I really hope that when I grow up, I will not be swept away by the buzz of life here in Singapore and forget the places where I've been since I was little, and remember how to get there and visit. Mm, it would be a terrible terrible waste if I do, a terrible waste.

.... ... . . .. .. . .. . .. .. ... .. .. . ... . .. . .. . .. ... .. . . . ... . . . .. .. .. ..

I had written a huge chunk of words to explain how I'm feeling. And it just disappeared. Just not meant to be told I guess

-

Four values I aspire to attain

To be truthful in my words, actions and purpose.

To be completely sincere in everything, and not act in self-interest, no matter what.

To be one that opens the way for others.

To be one that is fair in judgement and to everyone.

Yeah, whenever I think about it, whoa, sure sounds difficult. But as I've been told, nothing is difficult, its just us making it seem difficult. So yeah, here goes~

By the Time, verily, Man is in loss.
Except for those who believe, and do righteous good deeds,
and invites one another to the Truth, and invites one another to the patience.

Patience my friend, you are the key to victory.
Tolerance is our greatest strength,
and vengeance is the first sign of weakness.
Still our hearts and think with clarity,
but what the heart wishes, it cannot be denied.
Look beyond the clouds, with feet firmly on the ground.
Be thankful for what is provided and wish not for more.
Its a simple rule we live by, if we can have more,
if we deserve more, we will get more.
What it is, that is the question.
That which has been given, do not pass it on.
Speak not of it and be silent.

Things to be happy about:

Delicious food
Warm blankets
Presences of loved ones
Good music
Drawing random stuff
Improvements in results
Waking up at 12
Work done

... And many more.

.... ... . ... ... . . .... .. ... . ... .. . .. .. . ... .. . .. .. .. . . ... .. .. .. .. . .

Every once in a while, I discover new places to sate my hunger for food and design, and yesterday, I found one! One Scoop of Art hiding within Marine Parade Library. Anwar brought me there with promises of delicious ice cream after Friday prayers, obviously I'd tag along, like c'mon, who would reject an offer of delicious ice cream, right? And damn was he right! The gelato flavours are what you'd expect, dark chocolate, oreo, butterscotch and brownies and such, but wow, they sure taste different! Maybe you can say that I possibly have limited taste, but I sure know my chocolate flavours man. And this ones goooood. However, the thing about this place that catches my eye the most is the design. The floors cemented but has gigantic swirls of ice cream from the entrance on. The contrast of colours with the dark grey of the cement is somehow visually appealing, you know? Apart from that, wherever you look, they're art pieces being hung or pasted around the shop, pieces of art made by patrons (including mine!) which ranges from canvas paintings, drawings, and paintings. Their cupboards are pure white with drawings of cute things done by marker that is so random its just eye-catching! Lastly, they have a good portion of the area thats like meant for people to enjoy their food while drawing/painting! Its like the perfect place to just whine down after a day for people like me man, can just enjoy some good food and draw some random stuff and go. Whoo!

Product of Good ice cream and weird person.

The cupboard.

Well, obviously by now its all over the news, Spain's glorious victory over the Dutch early this morning, marking the end of the World Cup. A period of 6 weeks where all soccer fans compromised on sleep and much activities, to catch on THE biggest competition in the world. Despite the fact that I have only slept an hour or so this morning, its completely worth it. Just looking at the image above and recalling the adrenaline pumping through my veins when they won, it just gives me the shivers! The glory they achieved, together as a team, soldiering on through all the matches, never giving up and always giving their best, all because they know what they want, and the sacrifices necessary. In the end, its all smiles for the winners. All smiles and tears. Beautiful man... It's probably the few occasions where the sight of men kissing other men in celebration, is normal and adored! Obviously theres a link here, I guess watching Spain's victory inspires me, to keep on going. Cause in the end, we'll all be smiling when we do our best, and receive what we deserve, those dastardly evasive As in our report slip, YEAH! Till then ...

Temasek Junior College Climbing Club 09/10

Hello.

Its surprising that despite the fact that we're midway through JCTs, I'm here blogging, but thats exactly why I'm here, its halfway done! Wait, no, its more than halfway done! 2 H2s down, GPs down, leaving only Maths and 2/3 of Chem, mm, still, doesn't give a reason to slack, but oh well, I feel I've studied enough for the night anyway.

Change does not occur passively, indeed, for it to occur, we must put in effort. And thats exactly what I've done. I've possibly studied more during the past June holidays than I ever have, and all because I would like to see results. I've always been the kind to depend on my mere intellect and possibly fragments of studying here and there to cope with my studies, but this year, it must be different. Now, we must really start to excel, and that my friends, take lots of effort and much sacrifices. Looking at the far-reaching consequences of A's, I'm sure we're all ready to do just that. But at last, the greatest of fears arise when much has been invested. As Clement said, he's feeling extra scared this time round cause he knows, this time, he did put in more effort. And as much as we all want results, sometimes, shit happens. I concur it is a justified fear, but come to think of it, we will never know till we try, yes? As Einstein had said, 'The mind, once expanded, will never revert back to its original dimensions.' I read that in primary five and it has always been a strong motivation for me to always keep on pushing the limits of my mind. Whats there to lose anyway? This is, the last hurdle, one which is one the most importance, in my opinion. Why? Because from this point on, our lives will finally play out, when we finally become adults and take control of our lives, and as much as we hate to admit it, education is vital, so yea, here we are, toiling our guts out so that we may have better lives ahead, and even then, it is not assured. Comical, undeniable, reality. Thankfully, I have no problems with studying, man, sounds so retarded, but I actually like to study. Study, not mug at night with eyelids drooping and stomach rumbling, I prefer, and only do, study when I'm feeling good, fortunately thats almost every time, except for th stomach part, thats, a bit hard yea...

On another note, the day has finally arrived (and past without me being there, unfortunately) when my brother finally shaved his head bald and disappears for enlistment! The first of the family, how exciting! I sound like a child, but this is truly a riveting experience for me. MY brother, going for NATIONAL SERVICE. Doesn't get anymore personal than this! I really hope it'll be some sort of life-changing for him, cause well, he's truly a lazy person. So yea, I'm looking forward to when he comes back, all dark and bald, lol. Undeniably, I do miss his presence, always checking up on me when I'm not home, asking me where I am, his hogging of the computer and beside me in the bed, HAHA! 

My sanctuary, a place where I learn that which cannot be taught anywhere else or by anyone else, where time stays still and life comes to a pause, filled with people whose names glow in the dark, yet remain in shadows, enlightening. All seem to fizzle out from insignificance. Peace and tranquility, and much learning, much of it...

Eminem's Lose Yourself & Till I Collapse

Look, if you had one shot, or one opportunity
To seize everything you ever wanted in one moment
Would you capture it? Or just let it slip?

You better lose yourself in the music, the moment
You own it, you better never let it go go
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo

Cause sometimes you just feel tired.
You feel weak and when you feel weak you feel like you wanna just give up.
But you gotta search within you, you gotta find that inner strength
and just pull that shit out of you and get that motivation to not give up
and not be a quitter, no matter how bad you wanna just fall flat on your face and collapse

After watching a few hindustani movies, which were th kind of movies that I grew up to, I realize that it has actually influenced me greatly in how I am as a person. In the traditional movies, th stories were usually about love, which is typical of a hindustani movie, but it also explores the traditions of family, morals and values, especially that of respect and honour. 

Recently, to relieve myself of stress from studying so intensively, I managed to watch four hindustani movies and mind you they're all close to three hours long. (My Name Is Khan, Rab Ni Bana De Jodi, Munna Bhai and Munna Bhai 2) Makes me wonder how I even manage to watch them. But anyway, as I've said earlier, each of them explored similar branches of life. Surprisingly, I found myself able to associate closely with the characters in each movie, which enhanced the movie experience to the point that I teared in all of them. There were sad movies. Wait, no. Sad is a sweeping statement. Each movie had a general storyline where the main dude is basically a nice guy, but as always theres always a flaw in them, be it them suffering from autism, being a geek or even a don. So they're nice guys and yet shit gets thrown at them, y'know? But the beautiful thing about these movies are the little things that they do and portray, showing them overcome their struggles and win over someone's love or respect. 

Life Lessons learnt from Hindustani movies:

1) Patience is a virtue. Life may seem unfair when you look at it closely, but take a step back and you will see, for everything, there is a reason. Just needs a little time and perseverance to understand.

2) Respect others and eventually they will respect you. Eventually. Tied to the first point, earning respect takes time, but it is a worthwhile effort, one that brings much ease in the future.

3) Love may not necessarily be clear. Love for one may not be explicitly displayed, but human beings have different ways of expressing their feelings. The sweet words whispered by a lover or the scoldings from a father, there are but one and the same.

4) Always keep to one's words and be honest. It is a easier to tell th truth and seek understanding than to lie and always keep lying. Holding back the truth may hurt in the long run.

5) Family ties and strong friendships are things that may get damaged, but it will never break, as long as it is sincere and based on truth.

6) Material wealth is not everything. Sometimes, the most valuable of life treasures are not bought with money nor are they pegged a monetary value.

7) Always do the right thing, even if everyone else isn't.

Oh well, here it is again.
But wait, theres a twist.
Not a twist, but rather a slight addition of weight.
No longer just another exam, for now, it holds a measure.
To indicate,
To indicate whether we're  ready to take this seriously,
whether we can prioritize and realize what is important,
and whether we are prepared, prepared to give it our all.
Albeit, not an accurate one, but it IS still a measure, yes.
Hmm, such dark times we live in, currently.
All the stress, it has been piling,
on all of us, thats for sure.

Step 1 : Take a deep breath.
Step 2 : Let that shiver run down your spine.
Step 3 : DON'T LOOK AT THE CALENDAR.
Step 4 : Clear your head, and let go off all the unnecessary distractions
Step 5 : Focus and do the shit that needs to be done.

Calvin describes this as a marathon,
and a marathon it is indeed.
We're all competing, but hey, who said we can't help each other out yea?

Allez guys,
The important thing to do right now is to keep on going, to keep on pushing,
no matter how slow.

... .. ... . . ... . . . .. .. .. ... .. .... .. ... ... . . . .. ... . . .. . .. .. .

Every time it gets close to a major exam, I blog about it.

Yesterday, or rather, two hours ago, was one of my bestfriend's birthday, Syed Fadhil Yunus Al-Sagoff.

Its a rare occasion that we, being my other bestfriend, Muhammad, and I to celebrate his birthday considering how he's always overseas when its his birthday, but finally, today, it isn't!

It was a simple surprise, we just got him a simple chocolate cake, surprise him at his house followed by dinner with his family and just time to chill together. Ahh, the beauty of the simple things and the joy it brings. Despite the fact that his brother accidentally blurt it out to him, he still played along, how typical. A simple celebration, just the three of us and his family. Six years man... 

Its a joy to always know that there will always be these two guys with me, apart from you guys, who I can always turn to to find comfort, share my thoughts and problems, and just have fun with. We've been through shit and good times together, and all this time, despite the squabbles we had with each other, despite the girls that we had, despite the different schools we ended up in, we still stick with each other, knowing that the companionship we have is irreplaceable.

Irreplaceable. 

Matchbox Twenty - Disease

Feels like you've made a mistake, 

you've made somebody's heart break.

 Now I have to let you go, 

I have to let you go.

You'd have to stay, 

on every one of my good dates. 

But I'm stronger than you know, 

I have to let you go. 

No ones ever turned you over, 

no ones trying to ever let you down.

Beautiful girl, I can't breathe.

I got a disease, 

deep inside of me, 

makes me feel uneasy with it. 

I can't live without you telling me, 

what am I supposed to do about it? 

Keep your distance from me, 

don't pay no attention to me. 

I got a diseasee.