I don't get angry very easily, but sometimes, somethings just really tick me off. I've taken years to control and purge anger out of my system, cause personally, I think its unhealthy. But man oh man, when I do get angry, even I wonder how I'm capable of being that angry. Maybe its gotta do with th fact that I'm the kind of person to bottle my emotions up and just keep it in there, ignoring all the pressure thats building up. But thats just me, can't help it eh? Theres a very huge difference between getting pissed/irritated/annoyed/flustered/frustrated and angry, really. Nonetheless, there are always ways to vent it out without actually expressing it in the form of anger and thats what I will do. Pent up anger is not good for me either way.

I just find her really really, dayuum. Susan Coffey

Every time I go there, I feel refreshed when I'm back. A rejuvenating process that never fails to open my eyes to things I've previously been blind to, to clarify and cement the matters floating around in my head and of course, to just leave me hanging in limbo, jaws hanging in astonishment or mind jumbled up with a major conundrum. The last one comes without saying. Nonetheless, its still a good feeling. Its like suddenly realizing (again) how we're so small as an individual in a really huge world, or worlds I might add. Admittedly, these trips have affected me in more ways than one, and I gladly embrace the changes that follow. Sometimes, we need moments to slow down a little, get blown away by something, in the positive sense, and collect our thoughts, like a child with puzzle pieces? Everyone has their own way of experiencing this, and mine are these trips. I really hope that when I grow up, I will not be swept away by the buzz of life here in Singapore and forget the places where I've been since I was little, and remember how to get there and visit. Mm, it would be a terrible terrible waste if I do, a terrible waste.

.... ... . . .. .. . .. . .. .. ... .. .. . ... . .. . .. . .. ... .. . . . ... . . . .. .. .. ..

I had written a huge chunk of words to explain how I'm feeling. And it just disappeared. Just not meant to be told I guess

-

Four values I aspire to attain

To be truthful in my words, actions and purpose.

To be completely sincere in everything, and not act in self-interest, no matter what.

To be one that opens the way for others.

To be one that is fair in judgement and to everyone.

Yeah, whenever I think about it, whoa, sure sounds difficult. But as I've been told, nothing is difficult, its just us making it seem difficult. So yeah, here goes~

By the Time, verily, Man is in loss.
Except for those who believe, and do righteous good deeds,
and invites one another to the Truth, and invites one another to the patience.

Patience my friend, you are the key to victory.
Tolerance is our greatest strength,
and vengeance is the first sign of weakness.
Still our hearts and think with clarity,
but what the heart wishes, it cannot be denied.
Look beyond the clouds, with feet firmly on the ground.
Be thankful for what is provided and wish not for more.
Its a simple rule we live by, if we can have more,
if we deserve more, we will get more.
What it is, that is the question.
That which has been given, do not pass it on.
Speak not of it and be silent.

Things to be happy about:

Delicious food
Warm blankets
Presences of loved ones
Good music
Drawing random stuff
Improvements in results
Waking up at 12
Work done

... And many more.

.... ... . ... ... . . .... .. ... . ... .. . .. .. . ... .. . .. .. .. . . ... .. .. .. .. . .

Every once in a while, I discover new places to sate my hunger for food and design, and yesterday, I found one! One Scoop of Art hiding within Marine Parade Library. Anwar brought me there with promises of delicious ice cream after Friday prayers, obviously I'd tag along, like c'mon, who would reject an offer of delicious ice cream, right? And damn was he right! The gelato flavours are what you'd expect, dark chocolate, oreo, butterscotch and brownies and such, but wow, they sure taste different! Maybe you can say that I possibly have limited taste, but I sure know my chocolate flavours man. And this ones goooood. However, the thing about this place that catches my eye the most is the design. The floors cemented but has gigantic swirls of ice cream from the entrance on. The contrast of colours with the dark grey of the cement is somehow visually appealing, you know? Apart from that, wherever you look, they're art pieces being hung or pasted around the shop, pieces of art made by patrons (including mine!) which ranges from canvas paintings, drawings, and paintings. Their cupboards are pure white with drawings of cute things done by marker that is so random its just eye-catching! Lastly, they have a good portion of the area thats like meant for people to enjoy their food while drawing/painting! Its like the perfect place to just whine down after a day for people like me man, can just enjoy some good food and draw some random stuff and go. Whoo!

Product of Good ice cream and weird person.

The cupboard.

Well, obviously by now its all over the news, Spain's glorious victory over the Dutch early this morning, marking the end of the World Cup. A period of 6 weeks where all soccer fans compromised on sleep and much activities, to catch on THE biggest competition in the world. Despite the fact that I have only slept an hour or so this morning, its completely worth it. Just looking at the image above and recalling the adrenaline pumping through my veins when they won, it just gives me the shivers! The glory they achieved, together as a team, soldiering on through all the matches, never giving up and always giving their best, all because they know what they want, and the sacrifices necessary. In the end, its all smiles for the winners. All smiles and tears. Beautiful man... It's probably the few occasions where the sight of men kissing other men in celebration, is normal and adored! Obviously theres a link here, I guess watching Spain's victory inspires me, to keep on going. Cause in the end, we'll all be smiling when we do our best, and receive what we deserve, those dastardly evasive As in our report slip, YEAH! Till then ...

Temasek Junior College Climbing Club 09/10

Hello.

Its surprising that despite the fact that we're midway through JCTs, I'm here blogging, but thats exactly why I'm here, its halfway done! Wait, no, its more than halfway done! 2 H2s down, GPs down, leaving only Maths and 2/3 of Chem, mm, still, doesn't give a reason to slack, but oh well, I feel I've studied enough for the night anyway.

Change does not occur passively, indeed, for it to occur, we must put in effort. And thats exactly what I've done. I've possibly studied more during the past June holidays than I ever have, and all because I would like to see results. I've always been the kind to depend on my mere intellect and possibly fragments of studying here and there to cope with my studies, but this year, it must be different. Now, we must really start to excel, and that my friends, take lots of effort and much sacrifices. Looking at the far-reaching consequences of A's, I'm sure we're all ready to do just that. But at last, the greatest of fears arise when much has been invested. As Clement said, he's feeling extra scared this time round cause he knows, this time, he did put in more effort. And as much as we all want results, sometimes, shit happens. I concur it is a justified fear, but come to think of it, we will never know till we try, yes? As Einstein had said, 'The mind, once expanded, will never revert back to its original dimensions.' I read that in primary five and it has always been a strong motivation for me to always keep on pushing the limits of my mind. Whats there to lose anyway? This is, the last hurdle, one which is one the most importance, in my opinion. Why? Because from this point on, our lives will finally play out, when we finally become adults and take control of our lives, and as much as we hate to admit it, education is vital, so yea, here we are, toiling our guts out so that we may have better lives ahead, and even then, it is not assured. Comical, undeniable, reality. Thankfully, I have no problems with studying, man, sounds so retarded, but I actually like to study. Study, not mug at night with eyelids drooping and stomach rumbling, I prefer, and only do, study when I'm feeling good, fortunately thats almost every time, except for th stomach part, thats, a bit hard yea...

On another note, the day has finally arrived (and past without me being there, unfortunately) when my brother finally shaved his head bald and disappears for enlistment! The first of the family, how exciting! I sound like a child, but this is truly a riveting experience for me. MY brother, going for NATIONAL SERVICE. Doesn't get anymore personal than this! I really hope it'll be some sort of life-changing for him, cause well, he's truly a lazy person. So yea, I'm looking forward to when he comes back, all dark and bald, lol. Undeniably, I do miss his presence, always checking up on me when I'm not home, asking me where I am, his hogging of the computer and beside me in the bed, HAHA! 

My sanctuary, a place where I learn that which cannot be taught anywhere else or by anyone else, where time stays still and life comes to a pause, filled with people whose names glow in the dark, yet remain in shadows, enlightening. All seem to fizzle out from insignificance. Peace and tranquility, and much learning, much of it...

Eminem's Lose Yourself & Till I Collapse

Look, if you had one shot, or one opportunity
To seize everything you ever wanted in one moment
Would you capture it? Or just let it slip?

You better lose yourself in the music, the moment
You own it, you better never let it go go
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo

Cause sometimes you just feel tired.
You feel weak and when you feel weak you feel like you wanna just give up.
But you gotta search within you, you gotta find that inner strength
and just pull that shit out of you and get that motivation to not give up
and not be a quitter, no matter how bad you wanna just fall flat on your face and collapse

After watching a few hindustani movies, which were th kind of movies that I grew up to, I realize that it has actually influenced me greatly in how I am as a person. In the traditional movies, th stories were usually about love, which is typical of a hindustani movie, but it also explores the traditions of family, morals and values, especially that of respect and honour. 

Recently, to relieve myself of stress from studying so intensively, I managed to watch four hindustani movies and mind you they're all close to three hours long. (My Name Is Khan, Rab Ni Bana De Jodi, Munna Bhai and Munna Bhai 2) Makes me wonder how I even manage to watch them. But anyway, as I've said earlier, each of them explored similar branches of life. Surprisingly, I found myself able to associate closely with the characters in each movie, which enhanced the movie experience to the point that I teared in all of them. There were sad movies. Wait, no. Sad is a sweeping statement. Each movie had a general storyline where the main dude is basically a nice guy, but as always theres always a flaw in them, be it them suffering from autism, being a geek or even a don. So they're nice guys and yet shit gets thrown at them, y'know? But the beautiful thing about these movies are the little things that they do and portray, showing them overcome their struggles and win over someone's love or respect. 

Life Lessons learnt from Hindustani movies:

1) Patience is a virtue. Life may seem unfair when you look at it closely, but take a step back and you will see, for everything, there is a reason. Just needs a little time and perseverance to understand.

2) Respect others and eventually they will respect you. Eventually. Tied to the first point, earning respect takes time, but it is a worthwhile effort, one that brings much ease in the future.

3) Love may not necessarily be clear. Love for one may not be explicitly displayed, but human beings have different ways of expressing their feelings. The sweet words whispered by a lover or the scoldings from a father, there are but one and the same.

4) Always keep to one's words and be honest. It is a easier to tell th truth and seek understanding than to lie and always keep lying. Holding back the truth may hurt in the long run.

5) Family ties and strong friendships are things that may get damaged, but it will never break, as long as it is sincere and based on truth.

6) Material wealth is not everything. Sometimes, the most valuable of life treasures are not bought with money nor are they pegged a monetary value.

7) Always do the right thing, even if everyone else isn't.

Oh well, here it is again.
But wait, theres a twist.
Not a twist, but rather a slight addition of weight.
No longer just another exam, for now, it holds a measure.
To indicate,
To indicate whether we're  ready to take this seriously,
whether we can prioritize and realize what is important,
and whether we are prepared, prepared to give it our all.
Albeit, not an accurate one, but it IS still a measure, yes.
Hmm, such dark times we live in, currently.
All the stress, it has been piling,
on all of us, thats for sure.

Step 1 : Take a deep breath.
Step 2 : Let that shiver run down your spine.
Step 3 : DON'T LOOK AT THE CALENDAR.
Step 4 : Clear your head, and let go off all the unnecessary distractions
Step 5 : Focus and do the shit that needs to be done.

Calvin describes this as a marathon,
and a marathon it is indeed.
We're all competing, but hey, who said we can't help each other out yea?

Allez guys,
The important thing to do right now is to keep on going, to keep on pushing,
no matter how slow.

... .. ... . . ... . . . .. .. .. ... .. .... .. ... ... . . . .. ... . . .. . .. .. .

Every time it gets close to a major exam, I blog about it.

Yesterday, or rather, two hours ago, was one of my bestfriend's birthday, Syed Fadhil Yunus Al-Sagoff.

Its a rare occasion that we, being my other bestfriend, Muhammad, and I to celebrate his birthday considering how he's always overseas when its his birthday, but finally, today, it isn't!

It was a simple surprise, we just got him a simple chocolate cake, surprise him at his house followed by dinner with his family and just time to chill together. Ahh, the beauty of the simple things and the joy it brings. Despite the fact that his brother accidentally blurt it out to him, he still played along, how typical. A simple celebration, just the three of us and his family. Six years man... 

Its a joy to always know that there will always be these two guys with me, apart from you guys, who I can always turn to to find comfort, share my thoughts and problems, and just have fun with. We've been through shit and good times together, and all this time, despite the squabbles we had with each other, despite the girls that we had, despite the different schools we ended up in, we still stick with each other, knowing that the companionship we have is irreplaceable.

Irreplaceable. 

Matchbox Twenty - Disease

Feels like you've made a mistake, 

you've made somebody's heart break.

 Now I have to let you go, 

I have to let you go.

You'd have to stay, 

on every one of my good dates. 

But I'm stronger than you know, 

I have to let you go. 

No ones ever turned you over, 

no ones trying to ever let you down.

Beautiful girl, I can't breathe.

I got a disease, 

deep inside of me, 

makes me feel uneasy with it. 

I can't live without you telling me, 

what am I supposed to do about it? 

Keep your distance from me, 

don't pay no attention to me. 

I got a diseasee. 

All that has a beginning, has an end.

Every chapter in Life will eventually come to a close,

Its the essence of it that will last forever in all of us.

A lasting imprint on our hearts and minds.

The laughters, the scowls, the vulgarities,

the jokes, the intimate conversations,

the merry and sometimes crazy outings,

the hours spent mugging together, 

the intense discussions,

the climbs, the falls,

-you guys know what we've been through yea..-

I don't exactly know how to place these feelings in words,

As I reminiscence of all the moments, be it a bitter or sweet memory,

no words come to mind, 

. . .

Just a strong feeling of attachment and belonging,

to the people whom I've grown to love and trust,

people, who despite their unique quirks, has bonded together so closely,

to say that we're a mere club would be an understatement, an insult even!

Temasek Junior College Climbing Club 09/10

For once, I have no words to speak.

Only to smile.

(:

Human beings are adaptive creatures, able to adapt to many environments, and all that it takes is their will to do so.

Adaptations occur due to a necessity to do so, a measure taken in order to survive or to thrive in an environment.

In life, with ever-changing circumstances, it is crucial to hone and master this advantage.

Choices, choices, choices. Decisions based on opportunity costs. What does it take to make one?

The weight, insurmountable.

But alas, when the moment comes to change, we must, or we risk losing control of the situation we have for so long grown comfortable to.

Change, and adapt.

Live and let die.

... . ... .. .. .. .. . . . ... . .. . .. ... .. . .. .. . .. . ..

You rest your head on empty pillows,

wake up and open your eyes.

ISN'T IT JUST BEAUTIFUL?

I think, I think

Tiles are like people,

Many at times, we let all the

bitterness, cold, and bland

parts of life to veil our true colours

and our true nature too

and maybe, just maybe,

we just need to let someone spray us 

with high-pressured water!

Rid of all them dirt and stains

So we that become all nice again,

yes? 

Sometimes, sometimes.

24-25 April 2010
Probably, THE weekend to remember
Full of awesome things happening, of astounding achievements and satisfaction
This is for the team. Temasek Junior College Climbing Club - TJCCC

Yishun SAFRA

For the past month, all the trainings were held here with consideration that it would benefit us.

The journey was troublesome and time-consuming, but alas, it has bear fruit

Top Three for Male and Female Difficulty for A Div.

Honestly, one of the most proudest achievement.

Overall A Division Champion - TJC

In the end, it all goes back to everyone who is TJCCC, 

every individual who contributed, supported and trained

We win, as a team

as a family,

woots.

Ohhh man this week has been one of THE most tiring weeks, EVER.
Though I'm unsure why, ever since Monday, the days seem to slog by so slowly and I would go home utterly tired, mind saturated and feeling grumpy, haha! I just need one whole weekend of rest and study, maybe.
BUT, thats not going to be anytime soon yea, NSSCC is happening, WHOOO!

Last weekend has proved worthy of mention with Chris getting CHAMPION for individual speed category!
Man, the atmosphere was pure electric! Especially so during the final round to determine the champion. It felt as if time stood still and everyones eyes were directed to the wall. Everyone holding their breath simultaneously, hearts racing, expecting their hopes to be turned into reality, oh such a great moment. Though, nothing beats the pure joy when Chris's hands were raised, indicating him as champion, HOLY SHITTTT.

When Chris got first, it was all smiles mann

The Speed Team of TJCCC

Check out Sherwin, Haha!

Anyway, now the focus is on whats happening for THIS weekend, the difficulty category being the main focus. Just gotta do our best, for it is a FACT that we have trained hard for this,

ALLEZ TJCCC!

Dreams of beautiful buildings taking my breath away

Of hope in a situation of hopelessness and the rewards for a sincere heart

Of strength from within emerging to overcome trials met

Of dreams achieved and of lasting companionship

Of life with its ups and downs and how for every hardship there is a reward

Of the journey undertaken alone

.. . .. .. ... .. . . ... .. .. .. .. .. .. ... .. . . .. .. . .. . . .. .. . .. ..

A barrier of stone keeps the waters at bay

However water erodes even the strongest stone

From the soft lapping of water to monstrous surges

Bit by bit they eat away at the foundations 

Till when will it last? 

Till when will the stone hold the waters at bay? 

People always say that God works in mysterious ways.
Yet, why look so far when sometimes,
even people work in mysterious ways.

... . .. . . . .. .. .. .. . ... . .. . . . . .. .. ... . . . . .. . .. . .... . .

Far too often, we tend to judge others too soon before light of the circumstance can be revealed fully.
Years upon years of education has taught us to make intelligent deductions based on current conditions.
However, sometimes, we are wrong, and all we needed was to be a little bit more patient, just a little bit.
When faced with similar circumstances, we make our judgments based on previous outcomes.
When faced with new ones, we make them based on guesses and expectations.
What our heart whispers, it is inevitably reflected in our words or actions.
Hence it is without a doubt that to rid ourselves of this tendency to judge,
we must try our best to squelch them before it materializes fully within us.
Ah, such complexities within us, the eternal clash between the heart and the mind.

.. ... . .. . .. .. .. ... ... .. . . .. . . .. . . .. ... . .. . . . .. . ... . . ... .. .. .

Its been awhile since I've last sat down among elders and just silently listened to their tales.
To the point that I have semi-forgotten how much there is to learn from them.
I will try, to speak, only after I have listen, listen to others, listen to myself.