Whenever everytime things seem distant, when every sound seems to be just loud echoes,
it reminds me of my very warped nightmare, one that has haunted me over and over again, though less frequently now.

Theres a big mess of machinery, of gears and what not, integrated as one unstable mechanism. I am merely a small observer of this frighteningly massive object. Then, without any warning, it suddenly breaks apart, into huge pieces of metal that rain down on me. Helpless as I am, I am suddenly saturated with guilt, somehow responsible for the chaos that had occured. Within my mind itself, there is chaos. The world seems to be flashing black and white, confusing and glaring. There is no proper definition of anything that resembles the physical world as the lines that border these objects are constantly changing, like scratches or when the television receives no transmission. I am getting smaller, as the chunks of metal get larger, and all these while, I am frozen, rooted to the ground, unmoving. I am not running for shelter or shielding myself, merely standing there, open to the onslaught. The onslaught that never arrives, merely happening, never impacting. As though I am a spectre, I observe myself from afar, unbounded yet affected.

Then I wake up.

It is a pressing time for us.

Datelines and expectations,

project work and promos.

Sleep, a luxury we oh so treasure.

Sapped of our energy,

we drag ourselves,

persevering this torment.

For in our minds,

it is not th surrounding darkness that fills.

But rather, the warm glowing light,

amidst soft fluffy pillows.

Think not of the panda lids,

weary eyes and dazed mind.

Lest we doom ourselves,

to reality and its crushing blow.

Ramadhan, a.k.a the fasting month, is finally coming, in two days!
Though it is a significant event, I'm surprised that not many non-muslims truly understand the purpose, significance and it in general, haha. So I shall try to see what I can share yea?

See, Ramadhan is a month that spans from 28 days to 30 days, and USUALLY happens towards the second half of the year. See, the Muslim calendar is similar to the Gregorian calendar, with 12 months and all, however, there is one difference. Each month of the Muslim calendar begins when theres a new moon, and hence ends when a new one is seen. Due to this characteristic of the Muslim calendar, it is shorter than the Gregorian calendar by 11 days, and thus each month would happen 11 days ahead of the date it previously happened! Thats why Ramadhan keeps getting closer and closer. It could even happen on January eventually! Damn, lol.

The purpose of fasting is simple, it is to remind one of the hardships faced by people, such as those who go on living with little or no food at all. This reminder serves as something to humble one as well as make one grateful of the bounty one receives, and takes for granted. Simple? Haha

However, there is more to it than it seems! This is where the lack of understanding comes in. See, what we mean by fasting is NOT only to consume food, but rather involves many other matters. The basic rule that you have to abide by is not not to eat, but rather to not have anything to enter one's body through the holes in one's body such as mouth, nose etc. So this means that we can't like put in finger in our mouth or smoke! Theres more! Other than not eating, one has to restrain oneself from thinking of bad things or do for any for that matter, you know, haha. One also cannot swear, cannot think of food, cannot drink and stuff like that.

This is where the other purpose of fasting comes in. To look at it merely as not eating would be shallow, in my opinion. The other purpose is to resist the temptations that exist within us. This temptation, we call it nafsu, is something that exists within ALL of us, at any given time or given place. Its like the wanting of the heart, the body, you dig? This wanting is not necessarily good, and may even be detrimental to us. Hence, fasting hopes to strengthen one's inner self-control against these temptations. So please people, be considerate and not offer us food or tempt us!

Scientifically speaking, fasting in GENERAL, and not necessarily in the Muslim context, is actually beneficial to the body! It supposedly gives the stomach a period of resting, relaxing and recovering. The stomach, as any part of the human body, cannot be overworked. What is meant by overworked is how it is always in use, as we consume food daily, hourly. A period of time where we do not consume food as regularly would help the stomach and also detoxify the body from the harmful substances that come along with today's food.

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As I typed all the above, my eyes were closed. Training is fun, and tiring, DOH. Till we met again, take care people!

and remember,

SEVEN MORE WEEKS TO PROMOTIONAL EXAMSSS

if only i could blog through audio, itll be so fun!

says hello in a weird voice. HELLO. haha

I just had my quarter-yearly haircut just now, and now my hair is less curly! My sister says its like carpet grass, interestingg. My barber was an Indian man. Its not very common to see an Indian man able to speak Chinese working at a Malay barber. Racial integration, quite cool man.

I think it must have been difficult for him to cut my hair cause as he was cutting it, he tugged at it quite fiercely, pain man. There was one time where he raised my hair all th way to make it easier for him to cut and man, I look like super saiyan with curly hair! If youre wondering what that looks like, its something like this.

Then we shared a laugh, cause its really funny! Damn, my hair is long. Imagine, normally curly hair seems short cause th hair just curls and curls. Before this, mine was like BALL. A huge ball of hair, it was damn long. Pity the barber. It took him a while to cut my hair short, and now, it looks like this!

Im sorry to crush your enthusiasm, but its on the computer. Haha! I think my hair is an apt representation of myself, lol. Its curly and messy and all, which is like me, never staying still, always moving about, energetic. Its curliness hides its depth, just as how I'm so hyper and high that sometimes people think theres no deeper side of me, haha. Lastly how no matter what, it remains the same, neverchanging, like me and my beliefs. Never will I let them go. I can't even imagine myself with straight hair, its just too weird. Go ahead and try, lol.

The retarded things I did in front of the mirror while changing just now:

1) Try to belly dance, LOL. ALMOST THERE, but not quite. Don't ask me why, haha

2) Do the robot dance

3) Pretend I'm doing silat, a traditional form of fighting, where i laughed at myself after doing it.

4) Weird and funny facial expressions

5) Yoga, HAHA

HELLO GAYS.

I have moulted from the downcast shell I resided in.

I am now of many colours, of flight and happiness!

I am Ahmed Khalil Khan. Wheee

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A friend of mine, Zafirah Zein, returned on short notice from Dubai a few weeks ago.

A rather close friend, all of us here in Singapore missed her greatly!

Our friend here is the life of a party, and so, we held a party by the beach yesterday!

It was rather mundane at the start, with people missing and what not.

But as the sun sank deeper into the sea, ahh the party emerged!

Though there were some who were not as close, the walls came crashing down

and all of us seemed like we were friends for ages, such a good feeling it was.
The food was delicious, the atmosphere seemed alive, the place free from authority,

and most importantly, the people,

were

absolutely

fantastic

and a note, before the party got going, me, fadhil, husrin and sean, went off to just chill, and got high on redbull, THIS, serves as an explanation for some pictures you will soon see, haha!

Here they are

Some of the people

The Guys, this was probably th most decent picture of us

Me Husrin Sean Fadhil.

Our Mess :D

The People that stayed till late

The following pictures are normal pictures.

ZAFIRAH!

That was it, lol.

Here are those of when we were high!

They are many more, but ah, it is late now, is it not? For that, I shall end here, goodnight people! Good are the days, we must treasure them for very soon, they will simmer and cease to exist :D

It happened during the darkest time of night,
when everyone's asleep and the stars shine bright.
I was awake, with turmoil in my head,
as I writhe, twist and turn on my bed.
Nightmares or distortions of reality, it didn't matter.
It had a stranglehold on my fading sanity.
Wrapped in my blanket, I fought against the persuasions of the voice.
The voice that spoke of evil, disloyalty and cruelty.
When my will hung by a single thread,
I remembered once more the knowledge I have,
and fought it with a renewed spirit.
A renewed spirit in a broken shell.
Alas, peace came to me and I slumbered.
Travelling across lands till I met three.
Three who unveiled the trickery of it all,
and plucked out the trickster from beneath his disguise.

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I have very many strange dreams.

There never seemed to be a single and one dream, but are usually many swirled together, like colours on a pallete. Disconnected from far, but are actually one integrated piece when closely observed. Most of the time, they don't even represent reality in any way, not a place I've been to before. Abstract places from God knows where. A projection of my inner psyche. They say our dreams are mediums for our brain to connect the missing dots, or our final lingering thoughts before we sleep. If thats true, I wonder whats going on in my head in the past few days, strange.

Trance makes me a happy boy.

I don't know man, these past few days, people I know have been sad and they've come to me with their sad stories. I hear them, I feel their sadness, but somehow what I say doesn't work. Its like my outlook over life is just too positive and seems unreal, that people just shrug it aside thinking 'Ahmeds nuts'. Yeah I understand the workload and stress of JC has obviously dampened our spirits but come on, that doesn't mean you have to be all negative, right? Sometimes I wonder, how come I'm happy all the time, then I wonder, why the hell am I thinking this. People nowadays should really be more happy more often in general, its good for their health. Stay gay people

Helloo
Previously I said that the full effects of me pushing my limits has not been felt, yes?
Well, it has come to pass, and damn, im thankful it has. I've been down with high fever from Sunday to Tuesday. I don't get sick often, but when I do, whoosh, its like I've been hit with a truck, haha! There was even a certain fear that I could have H1N1 as I exhibited the classic symptoms but nahhh, I don't think so. I say think cause I didn't go for the checkup, whoops.
But don't worry people, I am well now! Due to my inactivity over the pass three days ( I SLEPT CLOSE TO 24 HOURS ON MONDAY! ) my whole body feels weak, logical? What I actually dread most about being sick and absent from school is that I'll miss a lot of lessons, and that, I cannot afford. Especially when its already so rushed, blueargh. One sentence, Too bad ah, thats life.

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A friend of me spoke to me about how people have changed and that its scary.
I couldn't really say anything cause I didn't know what to say.
Actually, what CAN you say?

Going past your body's physical limitations may be great,
but it sure kicks your ass after a while.

Yersterday:
2.4km run in the morning, then climbing from 4-8pm

Today:
Climbing from 9am - 1pm, full soccer match from 3-5pm

The effects are still not fully felt, but I'm sure tomorrow I will wake up aching everywhere, haha!
Goodnight world, oh my sleepy head.

A breath of fresh air, FINALLY.

Hello denizens of the cyber world, I welcome you back to my dormant domain!
Its been a while since I've last been here, and I have my reasons!
The past two weeks had been very eventful, exciting and ever-changing.

Life is like an ocean, its waves, unpredictable and varied.
We are merely ships sailing on a humble boat, to stay afloat, and not drown.
As every vessel sailing in the ocean, we will someday or another, encounter a storm.
I have sailed past, intact and strong! I thank those who were there to see me through, deeply.

Ohh how quickly I digress!

National Schools just ended and I'm proud to say the team fared excellently despite being a team of new climbers, YEAH! To those who have no idea what I'm talking about, National Schools is a climbing competition held in the past two weeks, consisting of schools from all over the country.
Its the most recognized competition by MOE hence our focus to own it, and own it we did people.

All the medals we received from one day, theres two more!

ands thats less than half the team!

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Reality has smacked me directly between my eyes.

I saw my results and said to myself " WHATHELL SIAA "

I knew this was coming, but damn, my results really sucks.

And for that matter, I have started studying.

Its like Os all over again, but who cares.

We're all in JC for a reason, to get to University, and nothing else.

And how do you get there? Through Hardwork and Discipline.

So yea, there you go, my reasoning :D

B C M E Gp = S U E S E
suese, seuse?

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"The world is too small"

- One who bends the Laws of the Universe.

A whirlwind, thats what I am now.
Chaotic, destructive, in a mess, all that in the outside.
But deep within, the inner peace swells. There is no wind.
Within the raging winds, a soft gale blows.
I have found the peace, the closure, Ive been looking for.
Though this peace comes with a price,
a price my heart accepts so heavily.
But for your sake, I will.
May your beautiful smile remain etched in my memory,
Thank You.
With Love,

Alright, so the June Common Tests are over and done with, most of the papers received and accounted for and such. One word : Owned. It was rather disappointing to see myself get these kind of marks, but oh well, I know for sure, I am responsible for my own learning, so yea, thats what you get.

Reality came knocking on my door the other day. Time is short, and damn, the next exam is as important as it gets. Looking at my current performance, I have to pull up my socks till they become stockings. Shit, this is going to take a lot of hardwork.

Ahh, the sacrifices you make to achieve what you want. At least its worth it, yes?

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Sometimes, the gift of understanding can be both a curse and a blessing.
To be able to read deep within the lines, the know what one thinks as one say.
To know what is truly meant by the words said, spoken, and typed.
To connect, feel and comphrehend the story of others as we listen.
Yes, it may be mere assumptions and that we are wrong.
But the feelings that erupts deep inside you, it can be overwhelming.
Leaving it to be, denying it, they say ignorance is bliss.
But within yourself, you know what the truth is, perceived or real.
It flashes in your memory and in your thoughts, without reason.
Igniting these feelings, the fire you've quelled inside, enveloping.
Alas, we hide them, once again, silenced and sedated.
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Even the weather understands how I feel.
My brother says, it is okay to feel sad,
as long as you don't let it have a grip over you.

My signs are vital, my hands are cold
Alas, it has materialized.
And though I deny it, it strikes a chilling blow to my heart
I am strong, but not all the way through.
Water may break even the strongest of stones.
The ever-growing distance,
like suns expanding in the universe.
I pray it stops, the end of the universe.
Oh, such a dilemma, such pain.

There is a sad cloud hovering above me, though it doesnt rain, it merely brings th dark clouds closeby. It doesnt flash lightning, but a rumbling is heard deep within. The wind blows strongly, and i am sometimes swept off my feet for moments before I bind back to the world. Is there a reason for it?

My tribute to the King of Pop

Amongst all the despair and sorrow that precedes through an exam,
I think I will remain happy and be strong for those who cannot.
Undeniably, it is a rough and stressful time for all of us,
but we cannot give in to the tuggings of the mind
that we will fail despite our valiant efforts.
For it is a fact that for those who did,
their efforts shall be rewarded.
With what they deserve.

Examinations
Examinations

A series of papers set by teachers or external figures in order to gauge the understanding of students on the subjects that they take, which may or may not, have a drastic impact on their future, depending on the level of the examination. The questions posed would not only question students solely on understanding, but also the application of the relevant knowledge in various situations and manipulation of knowledge to fit the criteria needed. It occurs twice or even thrice in a year and may span from a period of two weeks to a month.

Lastly but most importantly, it causes students to go "OMG."

THIS, will be post of pictures.
WHY? Because pictures speak a thousand words, and thats just too many words for me to type.

Sentosa outing with my climbers, HOHOHO. NOBODY, lol.

Rockmaster '09. I like to eat Chalk.

Where I become Confucius, T3.

A HUGE banana I found just now and Darth Ziqah, my sister, and yes, the Sith are into Indian clothing.

Hi, I am currently feeling very very very stuffy. I'm sure all of you are too. Its been really hot during the day and like uber stuffy at night. Oh Singapore, why are you in the bloody centre of the Earth.

Well, on a lighter note though just as warm, yesterday TPJC had a malay event called Manifestasi;

Malay event + TPJC = Meeting a lot of people whom I miss

That kind of summarizes the whole night of yesterday. Truth be told, the performance was really amazing, however, cause it lasted for two solid hours without a break, it came off as kind of draggy and such. If it was in like parts, it'll be much better. Though I do applaud them for their valiant effort and I'm sure it paid off for all of them, all the time spent practising and stuff. Did I spell practising correctly? I'm not sure myself. This reminds me of the fun and good times I had while practising for Semarak, haha seems so far away. I'm so glad I went man, really. Met some old friends, good feeling, met Sheila & Co, good feeling, watched a performance, good feeling, eating something that I craved for sooo long, good feeling, sending people Sheila home, good feeling, and talking crap with Diyanah, good feeling. Get what I mean? Too bad I don't have any pictures yet, so I shall enlighten you readers with a picture of me when I was in Secondary Three. I repeat, SECONDARY THREE. NOT primary school, Oh how shocked I was, hahaha.

HOLY SHITT

I was bored in the bus just now.

Man, I just watched THE first recent ENGLISH movie that made my eyes tear. Goodfeeling x)

Its not so recent, but I think it was released this year? He's Just Not That Into You. Don't mistake this movie for like another 'date-ish' movie that you've seen in the past, sure it may start like so, but the movie, it has that something that differentiates it. Maybe because its more realistic than the rest, like the people in the movie actually lead normal lives? But I think its more of the characters and how they experience the things they do, and how they deal with it and stuff like that. I teared at the part where the character Jennifer Aniston and Ben Affleck plays reunites after their break-up. That sounded gay, but oh well, it was a really nice moment in the movie. So yea, I really encourage you guys to watch this movie, real nice. Lol, cya later