Rain

Amidst the blessing of Rizq in the form of rain that You have given to the Earth,
I appeal to you to give me the blessings of Rizq also.
As Your humble servant, I am nothing without You,
You are the granter of Rizq, Rahmat and all things.
Give me what which I require, that which is good for me,
and deny me that which is not good for me.
Verily, I am weak of heart, strengthen my heart to accept,
accept all that You have given, and to accept all that You deny.
Soften my heart so that I will only seek and ask of you for that which is good for me.
Soften my heart so that I will only seek and ask for the Hereafter,
for verily the Hereafter is ever-lasting and the World is temporary.

Rabbana aatina fiddunya hasanah wa fil akhirati hasanah waqina 'adzabannar

O my Lord, grant me that which is good for the World and good for the Hereafter, and protect us from the punishment of Hellfire

Wrong doings

"The likeness of what they spend in this world is the likeness of a wind which is extremely cold; it struck the harvest of a people who did wrong against themselves and destroyed it. 

Allah wronged them not, but they wronged themselves."

Al Imraan (3) - Verse 117

We are a strange creation, we have been bestowed with Knowledge and Intelligence.

Yet, we still do not listen and do not heed to advise and warnings and act upon our desires.

What drives us to do that which is evidently not good for us that we still do, I wonder.

Is it the desire to not be under an authority, to pursue the wants of the Soul and simply not care?

Consequently, we extol the virtues of freedom and independence; the freedom of choice and the independence from dependence.

We act how we wish to, we do what we want and we bow to no one.

We decide what is right and what is wrong, and all that is, is our doing

Our desires, our unlimited desires, what else is there to do? Satisfy it! 

Our laws and our beliefs, we dictate their coming to existence, indeed!

The Soul is fleeting and liquid, easily it is guided, and easily it is corrupted. Our basal nature is inherently that of an animal, but our inherent nature is rise against and above that.

Hungry? Eat

Thirsty? Drink

Lustful? Sex

Desire? Take

Angry? Let out

Sleepy? Sleep

Do as you wish, animal.

With Knowledge and Intelligence granted, we have the capacity to take control of our animalism, our unrelenting desires. Ilmu and Aqal gives us the ability to be higher than animals, to aspire to be more:

To be better a human being.

That which lies in between.

Peekholes

Today, it is seemingly possible to cure a person of blindness. Cornea implants and laser corrections, they seek to repair what is 'broken', thus granting Sight.

How generous of technology.

What about the blindness of the Heart? What apparatus is capable of granting Sight to the blind Heart?

How generous of the All-Seeing One.

Like patients who had just undergone an eye surgery, my vision is still a blur, it pains and it confuses me, but hopefully

Sight been granted.

Solitude

It is in the hours that lie between day and night, when death comes visiting with slumber, when the world seems to be spinning endless in a void that is defined by the rising rays of light by the horizon, and by the fleeting departure of the stars.

That, is the time when death opens the door. The door of profound solitude and severance from the world that we soak ourselves in. The door that leads, strangely enough, to the cavity of the Heart. The space of silence, not quiet - silence.

Step through the door that death stands guard, and let enter the self.

the self that is the secret to itself.

Dive

TAKE A DEEP BREATHE.

LOOK INTO THE DEPTHS.

LOSE YOURSELF IN THE ABYSS.

MAKE THE LEAP AND PLUNGE.

SINK THROUGH THE WORLD.

SEEK ORDER AMIDST THE CHAOS.

SEE THE WORLD FROM THE DARK.

FREEZE THE MOMENT IN TIME.

AND RISE FROM BENEATH, 

DIFFERENT.

Levels

Man has the capacity to attain the stature that is GREATER than that of the angels, yet also the capacity to attain the stature that is LOWER than that of the animals. What differentiates between the two is no magical division borne out of luck and circumstance, it is simply a matter of choice and as ironic as it sounds, desire.

What differentiates us from the angels and the animals is that we were given the gift of Intelligence, for a lack of a better word. Intelligence, or Aqal. What we do with it, this gift of ours, is what defines us.

Would we be like the animal that simply sates his animalistic desires simply out of want, for food, drink and the carnal desires?

Or have we given Intelligence that we may be more aware of a higher need, a calling higher than what nature simply dictates?

It is said, the biggest and most important battle is not fought out there, but rather in here. The action of extinguishing that internal desire is higher in attribute than the war waged on the battlefield.

114:6, protect me from the jinn and mankind.

Shivers

Reading up on some of my previous posts, and I stumbled upon this:

"Hello,

I've been waiting for so long, for you, just waiting oh-so-patiently for your arrival. 
In the dark, and in the light, in the rain, and in the sun. 
From the day you were born, for every breathe you take, I stand so silently, watching you as you age. 
Every tear your cried, every laughter, I have been there for you, your faithful companion. 
Sometimes, you do remember me, through reminders all around. 
The fear in your eyes, why is it there? Are you so attached to this place that you fear my arrival? 
Be reminded my young friend, this is merely a temporary abode. 
I will come for you, swiftly,  painfully or otherwise, you decide.
For no matter what, it is the Inevitable. 

Till we meet my friend, farewell and may we meet embracing, 

peace be upon You"

This was written years back.

______________________________________

Today, I realized why I am in love with knowledge. It is an exquisite feeling to know that in this Universe, there is a Grand Design, and here you are, bearing witness to the ubiquity of :

His design, His rules, His laws, His supremacy and His knowledge.

I was truly ecstatic. It shook me to my core and gave me goosebumps.

MasyAllah.

Rabbi dzidni Ilma war zuqni Fahma.

"O Allah, grant me Knowledge and Understanding"

Travel

Make every journey a journey within. 

If you travel within, you'll travel the whole wide world and beyond

40 Rules of Love

Sometimes, in the complete absence of any presence,

a detachment of the self happens and we are lifted away from here.

In the state of transcendence, our thoughts depart from the world,

and wander around in the spaces

that lie in between.

A surreal sense of clarity and heightened awareness usually follows,

followed by a mellowing and sobering hyper-sensitivity.

There are no smooth trails, every     bump          seemingly                    mountainous,

acute to the vast difference, we fall deeply... 
                                                                  
                                                                  down.

Only in the deepest of darkness, in the recesses of desperation,

can the twilight shine of the brightest Light be seen.

The darkness is shed away when the Light is shed (upon),

patiently we await, for the Light is beyond pursuit, it enlightens at will.

--

For truly the Light is beyond our grasp.

___________________________

Before you know it, your legs have brought you forth, and you re-emerge at your destination.

As always, the world is still spinning and a hundred centimetres still make a metre.

Yet, we feel that we have travelled across the distance and beyond.

Plants.

The mirror upheld,
The teller of truths without voice and mouth.
The cracked realities that hide behind smooth façades.

No lie is greater,
Than the lie we tell ourselves.
Than the one that nags using our very own voice.

Burdens born weighing heavily,
Testing our foundations and our roots,
Our morals, our values, the way we live and lived.

The speech of the words,
The portents of truth that lie within,
Wrapped in humour, carelessly or unspoken.

When the mind speaks,
Its voice booming, logic overflowing.
Thoughts intermingle in a swirl of choices and considerations.

In the solitude we exist,
In places where no one reside, we are true.
In places only we know, we become who we are.

Our feet keeps on trudging,
Moving places, from here to there, then and now.
But little do we know, our Self has already stood still, concrete.

A day, we reconvene,
Like a river meeting the sea,
All shall fall into place, in a place, to a place.

Blank

Nature is almost entirely against the existence of a vacuum.

Whenever a vacuum forms, it will be filled up, almost spontaneously.

A vacuum is hardly limited to the physical world, it is liquid in form.

It will always be filled up, some way or another.

But, what fills it up?

That is the vexing issue of vacuums.

There is so much in the world that there is too much to consider.

Resilience

The waves come lapping at first,
young, weak and misleading.
They show not the tempest that brews,
the ferocity of the waves as they come crashing.

The winds whisper through a breeze,
soothing, gentle and sly.
Their voices only an echo of their howls,
with hurricane strength they devastate.

Do not be fooled by the calm, for often, it bellies the potential for a storm.

Prepare for the worst, and hope for the best.

Blind

University has finally began and the doors to knowledge are wider than before.

Studying what is important and studying what is right may not necessarily be the same thing,
so how then can I assure that I find a balance of both?

We pursue knowledge doggedly, thinking that it is an inanimate object that gets nearer the more we try.

Yet, we see that knowledge does not always come to those to seek it, and sometimes, those who do not seek it as tirelessly, seem to receive it so much faster, with lesser effort.

Knowledge, I feel, is like a dance.

It is elusive, and must be teased to participate.
It can be coaxed only with proper intentions and the correct procedures.
It can, be forced, yet not so beautifully.
It can, come with much hesitation even despite.

What I have learnt about knowledge, is that it does not necessarily come to those who seek it, but those who do not seek it all will never find it. Knowledge is a gift that is presented to the ready, the willing, and the good. As such, we must request for it.

Rabbi dzidni Ilma warzuqni Fahma

Oh Allah! Please increase me in Knowledge and grant me Understanding

For I am nothing without what You give me.

Depth

In an environment one can easily overlook and pass as people just catching up, chatting about empty talk, cigarettes in hand, conversations peppered with laughter and pauses, what a deceiving front that was put up.

Sitting there, listening to them speak, using aliases for people who do not like to be named in conversations, replacing significant titles with insignificant but familiar colloquial terms, it is really amazing how it all happens.

Alas as the stories unfold and the light of understanding starts to come to life, I can't help but feel that there is really so so much more to Life and feel  humbled that I am really still a young boy learning to live in the world

To the years of learning I hope to glean, may they come in time, with me ready.

Time

History is a recollection of the past, a retelling of the story of people long gone, their achievements, their faults and the consequence of action during a certain era with a certain circumstance. They carry with them lessons for the future, a guide for humanity to take advice and learn from.

Yet, time and time again, History shows that humanity is either incapable or incorrigible to grasp the lessons of the past.

We keep committing the same mistake.

The path has been shown, a path treaded by many civilizations, successful civilizations, only to be abandoned in the pursuit of the temporal world; the wealth, the pride and the carnal desires. They forget that for every action, there is a reaction. For every excess, every transgression, lest there be remembrance and regret, there will be consequence.

Our world today is now indulgent in the excess of every kind! We transgress boundaries of every kind! We are people who have forgotten.

There is no need to mention any specific religion and the dogmas that are prescribed along with them, it is clear to anyone that the world is plunged in wrongful doings.

The world has forgotten but I pray that I do not.

To the people neck-deep in the corrupting luxuries of this world, to the people reaping the bountiful benefits of wrongful doing, to the people whose eyes are blinded by the dazzle of money, pride, power and sex, what does it matter to them? They are living the dream. A dream indeed.

Whenever comes a Reminder of the truth of the nature of things, these people, their eyes bulge in disbelief, their tempers fan ablaze, their mouths foam with accusations and slander.

"WHO ARE YOU? WHO ARE YOU TO TELL US SUCH AND SUCH!? YOU ARE BUT A MAN, A MORTAL!"

"If what you speak is true, show us a sign."

But History tell us that their hearts are hard like stone, blind to the truth of the nature of things and thus, will brush it away.

Alas, we are but a reminder...

Weight

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

In the name of the Most Generous, Most Knowledgeable, Who Sees and Hears all.

What differentiates Man from beast, is Aql, or loosely translated as Intellect; the gift and ability to process, reflect, ponder, store, wonder and more. Only with this Intellect can we have the ability to improve our being through the attainment of Enlightenment and Knowledge. 

Change cannot occur without action, and action cannot occur without intent, and intent cannot occur with desire. How, how can we as human beings look upon an open door, and choose to close it? I hope this will never happen to me. The path has been illuminated and made clear, the signs have shown the way and the destination, the door has been open, and all I have to do is to tell my limbs, my mind, my heart and my spirit, to walk through that door and to continue on the path.

The responsibility that comes with Enlightenment and Knowledge is to act upon that opportunity given and to change one's self. It is also to act upon what you now know and to apply it into your life. There is no benefit, no fruition if the seed is present, but it is not planted in the soil, nor if it is not taken care of. I hope that I will change and that the seed will bear fruit for verily I know it will. 

Walk through to that door, Ahmed Khalil Khan, walk through that door.

Ameen.

The wisdom of words spoken in hushed tones, behind closed doors, for some that is not for most.

I'd swim the ocean for You.

there is always a reason, a plan behind it all, unseen and unknown, we swim in an ocean with no horizon in sight, our vision clouded by fear, for we see not the shore that lies ahead, what limited vision we have, yet we remember not, overcome in our limitations, we forget, we forget to breathe, our limbs, they can only do so much, they tire, we tire and soon, all we can do is keep awake, and our body fails and we drift, carried off by the current, tides with purpose, unseen and unknown to us, what is this current, where does it come from, where does it lead, we care not, all we know we have drifted off and yet, we are moving still, we do not sink, we float as it is in our body to float, what made us, knows we will tire and we will face difficulty, face fear, face hopelessness, but we do not remember but still it does not fail us.


stop. Stop trying to swim in the ocean so vast, you have no power, you are so human.

stop. Stop and let it be, let it go.

stop. And the shore will appear, for all waves end up lapping against a shore, and that is the promise.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

The Seven Oft-Repeated Verses.

I only had the urge to truly understand it recently. It being repeated so many times in a day, it seemed mind-boggling for me to not understand the meaning behind, and why did it take so long? I do not know. I only knew that I must know and embrace its meaning, soon, quickly and fully.

The first tier of understanding is always to take what is read or heard literally. This gives us the basic understand of what the message is, what the context is and the beings involved.

The second tier of understanding is tafsiran, or interpretation. This gives us a deeper understanding in the sense that we are now examining why such words are spoken in certain ways, we try to figure out the subliminal tones involved and the implied effects of the chosen words. It enables us to have to have a better clue behind the reasons why such verses were sent down, their purpose.

The next tier of understanding I believe, is one that cannot be learnt or taught by another person. It is understanding that comes as a gift from Him and this tier of understanding, encompasses the very essence of the verses sent down, no, not the verses, but the very hurufs or alphabets that make up the verses. It gives a dimension to the very utterance of the huruf and its meaning is not verbally understood but is felt by the essence of the body. It is a gift, and as many of His gifts, they are hard to understand.

... . ... .. .. .. . . . . . . .. . .. . . . . . . . ... ... .. ..

Understand, for without understanding; 

the words you speak, 

the actions you do, 

they are incomplete.

Flick of a Switch

There can be no light where there is darkness.
Darkness and disease wrack the Heart, absent.
Light and noble traits beautify the Heart, present.
Actions, words and thoughts leave impressions.
Like water on rock, they carve th way of our Hearts.
Be mindful of them, their strength and direction,
keep them in check and the way is true.
Good traits are not in-born, they are influenced,
and are mimics of environment they inhabit.
Sometimes we are placed in the good, other times, the bad.
But in the end, it is our decision that the Heart follows.
Discipline yourself, physically, mentally, spiritually,
in order to remove the Darkness that tarnishes.
Like dirt, if left unattended, will pile on high.
Do not disregard it or pay it little heed, important.
Take active steps to always purify yourself, habit.
Slowly but surely, wash away the impurities that exist,
cure yourself of the many diseases that riddle your Heart,
then, and only then, CAN Light be made present.

Fear

The cold seeps through the bones, extinguishing warmth that seem to only be an illusion.
The cold seeps through the bones, into the mind and leaves a physical and mental chill.

I look around and all seems normal, yet the odd sensation hangs heavy in the air and the hair at the nape of my neck stands, shivers running up and down my spine. I close my eyes, seeking a sanctuary from this perpetuating fear that is enveloping my being with such abruptness. Instead of the peace and tranquillity, an unsightly image appeared and I forced my eyes open, shocked, the fear multiplied manifold.

Something dropped and my heart skipped a beat, in my fear, I cried out in fear with hopes to banish whatever fragment of my imagination that had materialized. I was stricken with fear.



It was a... chilling experience, to be so overwhelmed with fear. Rarely does it ever happen to me.
And I know deep down, what is the root cause of that fear, and I am fully aware that it is entirely my own doing.

Peace at Heart

Failure is a consequence, an effect of cause. The cause may be clear as day, or shrouded from us, but it is there.

Our human minds wrestle with the possible causes of failure, questioning its credibility and seeking something to justify either the fairness of failure or the unfairness of failure.

Our human emotions are plunged into the pit of despair and turmoil that accompanies failure, bitter and hopeless we feel helpless. We feel what are human emotions tell us.

Our Hearta, what does our Heart say or do when failure knocks by her door? The Heart is simple, it answers, and accepts. The Heart seem to say 'I have failed.' She seeks no recompense or reassurance, the Heart tells us that what happens has happened and happens.

It is our mind and our emotions that seek justification, our mind and emotions that seek answers, our mind and emotions that are thrown into turmoil and sadness and despair.

And so, as the storm subsides and the dust has settled, I look at my Heart and listen to her Peace.